Holy crap! I’ve just realized that this blog is my Happiness Project! For years, I’ve been reading Gretchen Rubin’s blog, skimming over the bit at the top about starting your own Project O’Happiness, thinking every so often about emailing to get a copy of the resolutions chart, and then going, yeah, that works for Gretchen, but it’s not for me…
Well. Shows what I know. Maybe if I’d gotten that damned resolutions chart years ago, I’d have figured all this baby stuff out by now. Maybe I would be thinner! Maybe I would be richer! More fun! And way, WAY more interesting!
Oh, well. That woulda-coulda-shoulda ship has sailed big-time. Last I heard, it was docked in Morocco and having a ball.
Fortunately, one of the things I’ve learned from Gretchen is that everyone has to go about finding happiness in his or her own way. What works for me won’t work for you, and what works for you won’t work for me. Unless it does. Which is why The Happiness Project (and maybe even Starfish Envy) is important. It reminds us that although we’re all different, we’re all searching for the same things: friendship, love, growth, comfort, excitement, fulfillment… Happiness.
We all deserve to be happy. And sometimes, as Gretchen certainly has for me, we can help each other get to where we want to be.
Which leads me to something else I’ve learned from the Fabulous Ms. Rubin: It’s okay to ask for help. So…
Do you know any single women with Starfish Envy? Not sure? Here’s what a woman with Starfish Envy looks like: Just like everybody else. She just happens to be in her thirties, and single. And she’s starting to wonder if maybe she should take the baby-plunge by herself. (If she’s in her twenties and wrestling with these issues early, that’s cool, too. A little neurotic, maybe, but I’m down with that. And the forties are a lovely age—the new thirties, from what I hear, which is great because I’m so very almost there myself…)
There are a ton of us out there. We’re smart, we’re successful, we’re engaged with our lives, our careers, and the world. We’re post-‘Sex and the City,’ post-Quirkyalone (both cultural phenomena I adore, BTW). We have Starfish Envy, but we’re not twiddling our thumbs about it. We’re taking action, making hard decisions, and creating the lives we want. Would we rather do it with a loving husband (or a loving partner)? Sure. But we’re not letting that stop us. We want to be moms—not just moms, but the best moms we can possibly be.
So, if you know any women of the Starfish Envy generation, tell them to drop by and join the conversation.
And if you’re one of the ton of us, I’ve got just one thing to say to you: You’re not alone in being alone in this.