Sugar Free Me

I can’t start today’s post until I’ve written about the comments from yesterday.  They were… how to say?  Amazing.  Insightful.  Smart.  Challenging.  Abundant (twenty at last count).  Comforting.  Kind.  Encouraging.  Diverse.  And EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR.  I deeply appreciate the conversation we’re having here, and I’m learning a ton from all of you.  So, thank you.

And now, on with the post.

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For a little over a year, I’ve been trying to “eat right.”  Since The Experts can’t manage to come to any consensus on exactly what it means to “eat right,” here’s what it means to me:

Cutting out fast food entirely.  Having all of my food delivered in healthy, pre-cooked, diet-sized servings (that lasted about five months—five glorious months).  Going to the Farmer’s Market.  Starting a food diary.  Eating more fish.  Choosing fruit and nuts as snacks.  Drinking lots of water.  Avoiding even diet soda (most of the time).  Eating four or five times a day.  And ordering the good-for-you items on the menu instead of the stuff I like. 

Lately, it’s also meant cutting out sugar.  Which is no cake-walk, my friends.  Because the only thing I like more than a red velvet cupcake with butter cream frosting is a REALLY BIG red velvet cupcake with butter cream frosting.

As of last Sunday, I have had no processed sugar for TWO WHOLE MONTHS.  Excuse me while I throw a little sugar-free party for myself.    

(Party, party, dance, dance.  Party over.)

If I’m going to be a mom—which hopefully I am, sooner rather than later—I want to be healthy, and I want to be able to raise healthy kids. 

All of this would be much easier if I were willing to give up sweets entirely.  But I am SO not.  I NEED SWEETNESS, but I don’t want to replace sugar with fake sugar, which all-the-folks-who-know say is even worse.

Oh, the dilemmas of health!

Fortunately, I’m lucky to have very healthy, vegan neighbors who introduced me to agave.  So this weekend I hauled out my biodegradable bottle of agave and adapted a cheese blintz recipe from the Barefoot Contessa.  

Agave is sweeter than sugar, so I used slightly less than the recipe called for.  I also used low fat ricotta cheese for the filling (mixed with full-on all-fat mascarpone, of course).

The sauce is made from orange juice, agave (instead of sugar), a little corn starch, and blueberries.  Couldn't be simpler.  Or more delicious.

Put it all together, and... yum.  

The trick is managing not to eat it all in one sitting... especially when you're being all glum and self-pitying about being single.

But... I didn't.   Because this is the new, healthy me.  The me that, for the most part, eats right.  Even when what I really want is to eat very, very wrong.

Comments

[Julie]

Okay. For fear of stalking you online ...

After my embarrassingly long comment yesterday, I actually had the thought "I wish I could tell her to cut out sugar. But I don't know her, so that would be weird."

To me, it's a matter of creating a balanced, healthy life that's united -- inside and out, that has integrity, that doesn't rely on drugs like sugar to spike our emotions up and down but instead relies on real, wholesome experiences and foods (to do that).

You and I both know how bad sugar is for the body, in so many different ways -- I spent so long beating myself up for not being able to get off it, but I finally found this holistic dermatologist here in LA who's super smart and attentive and who helped me. Now my eating is about 95% Buddhist priest. (Other 5% = Vegas gambler.)

But my larger point is this -- getting off sugar is part of it. You're sending a message to yourself, to the world, that you deserve better, that you love yourself, that you deserve to be cared for and nurtured. I was super psyched to see the title of this blog post, because I've done the same thing this year. It's meaningful, as meaningful as someone who goes to AA or quits smoking. We're taking a stand in our own lives and against predominating cultural forces, and we're going to reap the harvest. To me it's yet another sign there are great things just around the corner for you.

Julie

[val]

Congratulations on another month of NO sugar! It's accomplishments like these where you truly show yourself what you're capable of, and like Julie said above, that you care about yourself. Like an expensive facial or working out 5 days in a row, you're doing something for yourself that's good for you mentally as much as physically.

Despite days where you feel inadequate or "pity party," you managed NO setbacks - even when a setback was completely understandable. That really shows both your dedication to yourself (you can see the bigger picture and goal, and you're not just concerned about getting through today) and your strength.

I always want to end these comments with "you go, girl!" (some sort of early 90s hangover I suppose) so maybe today I will.

You go, girl. Get on with your bad self.

[Lyndsy]

Sarah, this looks delish! I am definitely giving her a spin this weekend. Never cooked with agave - How does it compares in flavor to sugar?

And congratulations on sticking to such a tough goal that you set for yourself! I'm in a true quandry about sugar, personally. I've given it up so many times before during fits and starts of Atkins/South Beach/Sugar Busters/Carbohydrate Addicts/Skinny Bitch-induced blubber jihads. I always lose weight. But I've never sustained the effort.

For me, a more balanced approach works better, otherwise I can become obsessive (which is why two of my GRub Happiness Commandments are "Think about it, but not too much" and "Eat everything, but not too much"). But I agree with other commenters, that it shows you are prioritizing yourself and *doing* something. I have always had this sneaking suspicion that, before I will be able to meet and fall in love with a true partner, I will have to get past, or get to a new starting point, with my food demons. Which probably spawn from other demons. This is a step removed from, "To date guys I want to date, I must lose some weight," which is progress for me. It sounds like you may, unconsciously or consciously, be in the same place -- dealing with a demon (albeit a sweet, luscious lil devil), rather than merely trying to lose weight, in order to get your best self out on the table for your soon-to-be little one. And to that, I say bravo! And thanks for the inspiration.

[Heather]

Granted, I grew up in a time without agave or Whole Foods, BUT... be careful with your kids about that "no sugar, ever" rule. It can backfire mightily, as it did with me. I went from the kid throwing the school twinkie in the trash (much to my classmates' horror) to gorging myself on sugar at my friends' houses, at events, and even now as an adult. In my head is the thought: "I'd better eat as much of it as I can now because I never know when I'll get it again."

Silly, I know. But real. I'm big on the Weight Watchers concept of "There are no bad foods."

[jeanne]

Hi Sarah,

Last summer, before I got pregnant (by chance, not by design), I had given up sugar, caffeine and chemical sugar substitutes. Like you, I discovered agave, and it's been a life-saver in that I still get to enjoy a little bit of bliss without feeling too bad.

But in this past year I've also discovered Xylitol. A natural sugar substitute that has fewer calories than sugar, doesn't spike blood sugar levels (which makes it ok for diabetes), and doesn't have the negative impact on my emotional ups and downs that sugar has. It's also got some benefits (doesn't promote tooth decay, fights bacteria, and is good for the nursing babies). I've even baked with it. (Agave still screws with my emotions, I'm sad to say ... and I have a "teeth-thing" ... and agave still promotes tooth decay).

I'm attaching the wikipedia link for it because there's some good info there: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xylitol

Keep up the amazing work. You inspire me daily and I really appreciate what you're up to here.

xo - j.

[Rebecca Littlest]

That is seriously impressive, Sarah! My equivalent to no sugar is trying not to order from the pizza place around the corner -- usually a cheesesteak or something else with extra cholesterol! In the past few months, I've given in many a time. Think how badass you are to keep "clean" even during these stressful days!

I'm back on the Weight Watchers/exercise wagon for the moment. If I ever want another child (that's another whole question), I need to drop a few pounds for my (our) health.

Being healthy for our babies -- not a jeans size -- it's a new concept, huh?

[Sarah Fain]

Thanks, Jeanne-- I ordered some gum with xylitol, and got some to cook with as well. And you've given me that final push to stop drinking iced tea every chance I get. I always feel like "hey, it's tea, there's not much caffeine," but that's just delusional silliness. So, NO MORE TEA!

[Julie]

I have a friend who has lymphoma, and his fancy-pants famous oncologist said the only that could have stopped him from getting it was drinking 5 cups of green tea a day. (Then he made him start that regimen). Unsweetened, it's really nourishing -- full of antioxidants and alkalinizing.
My friend is in remission now. Not trying to say it's a miracle, just finishing the story ....