Woo hoo! Free sperm storage!
Have I engaged in bouts of self-pity over the fact that I have to buy what most people get not only for free but in a way that doesn't involve credit card charges?
Yes, I most certainly have.
And then I remind myself that when you're over thirty-five, the odds are good that you're going to have to spend a fair amount of money to get pregnant no matter how you do it.
It's a rare woman of "advanced maternal age" who doesn't have to dole out dollars on blood tests and acupuncture at the very least. And then there are all the other things that come up that have nothing at all to do with the freshness of your eggs. Maybe your mate's swimmers aren't all that great. Maybe you have fallopian tube issues. Or a short luteal phase. Or a million bazillion other things.
And then there are those women who just have sex with their husbands and get pregnant. Boom. No problem.
I hate those women. On so many levels.
And by "hate" I mean envy.
And by "envy" I mean really really envy.
Then again... no one will make me feel crappy if I take extra long to lose that baby weight. And I can decorate the nursery however I like. (Is Band Hero an appropriate theme for a baby's room?)
Plus, I don't have to restrict my nanny choices to only the ones I don't think my husband will hit on (although, is that a real thing? I mean, if I think my husband's going to hit on the nanny, no matter how hot she is, I pretty much already want a divorce.).
Best of all, I get to name my future baby whatever I want without taking anyone's weird family name/favorite poet into account.
Not that DuPont Longfellow Fain isn't a lovely name.