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Oh, I hate that term "Advanced Maternal Age"....or AMA as you'll see on your chart eventually. I was 37 when #5 was born and 39 with #6. I was healthier and felt so much better with those than I did with the others in my early 20's.
Unless you have some serious ovulation issues I think you are going to be surprised at how quickly you get pregnant. You won't be needing a whole year of sperm storage. :-)

Um you might want to rethink that DuPont Longfellow thing. haha

Oh, pray for a boy too.(read my last blog entry on daughters). haha

College tuition is still the big-ticket item :).

just putting this out there ... i love you and your blog ... it makes the day brighter. thank you!

This is superfun. Can't wait to hear about your pregnancy! Go Sarah!

Anecdotal only, but all of those friends -- us included -- who thought it would take a long time to get pregnant didn't wait that long. And the corollary. So I say, if you want to get pregnant faster, buy that an extended stay for your sperm.

As hard as the last couple of weeks have been, since getting home from Ethiopia with Elfe, the one thing I have NOT said to myself is "I wish I weren't doing this alone." It just hasn't even been an issue. I can make all the decisions myself and don't have to argue/negotiate/justify myself to anyone else. I can't imagine doing it any other way!

Hi – I really love your blog and admire your courage and determination (and thoughtfulness) in seeking what you want out of life. Congratulations on the purchase :).

Thank you for your comment about anyone, including those with a partner, also 'really really envy' (ing) those women who get pregnant quickly. I am in that position. While very thrilled for friends who fall pregnant and have children, I am also quietly dying inside. It can be hard on both sides as a lot of my friends know how I am feeling too and don’t want to make things worse for me.

I, too, have just spent a breath-holding amount of money to go through two operations so that we can *try* to have a baby (and we've been told that most likely we'll need IVF – more interference, more money). And while I completely understand your desire for a partner (and am glad to have one myself most of the time) sometimes it feels harder with a partner, an extra person to guess at what they're thinking and worrying about, to try to get on the same page with. No matter what your path, this is a very emotional journey – not only trying to fall pregnant, and the operations etc, but ‘little things’ like finding myself constantly beating myself up when I eat ‘bad’ food or not losing the weight I know will make the whole process easier and better for the baby and me.

Each (most) of us have our struggles and problems to bear. I very much appreciate your compassion for those in similar situations as you, but who also have the partner you would like to be part of this. It would be nice if the world was more compassionate in general and understanding of the different situations we find ourselves in and how emotionally draining it can be.

Here’s hoping we are both pregnant soon and are able to fully enjoy the experience; and I hope you also feel 'whole' in this journey, like Liz comments. Best wishes to you.

What a lovely comment-- thank you for writing it! Its really true-- there are so few people for whom its easy to get and stay and be pregnant, partner or not. A little more compassion all around would be wonderful-- in this, and all, things.

Thanks for the best read I've had in a while!
You probably were just kidding with the Band Hero statement but FWIW lots of parents are into decorating with rock and roll guitar themes. Would that be similar?

I have a link to a page on my site, that I would reference but I truly enjoyed your post and don't want to take away from the compliment with an apparent plug.

The best of luck to you.


At the moment, I have a partner who's so desperately afraid of accidentally knocking me up (and having me want to keep it), that I think he's liable to bolt. I'm 47. We have never had unprotected sex. I am sort of tired of being understanding.

Hooray for this step! I've been reading your blog for the past 2 months or so, and I just had to comment this time! May everything go swimmingly! ;)

Sarah- I am one of those women you "hate", I got pregnant every time my husband and I have unprotected sex. So I have been pregnant several times. However, I only have one child (your beautiful niece). Getting pregnant is only half the battle. Now go get pregnant and bring another wonderful strong person into this world that is going to be raised by a strong mother. Our whole family is rooting for you! xoxo

It will be fine and it may surprise you. I couldn't get pregnant at 25 (or 26, 27,28,etc) to save my life... and that was with medical intervention. Years later with a spouse change (and spouse #1's swimmers tested fine) I turned up unexpectedly (and delightedly) pregnant at 35. Apparently, my body and the universe simply had other plans. The pregnancy was easy, healthy and normal and my hilarious, adorable, brilliant youngest son (big brother was adopted) just turned 5.

Sorry to be long winded, but my point here is, sometimes bodies get pregnant a little easier when they start worrying about that biological clock.

Best of luck to you. May your next problem be "what to do with all that sperm in storage that I no longer need."

Congrats on the sperm purchase, Sarah! Ha--I never imagined I'd string those six words together. If I could, I'd send 6 tiny little party hats to place atop each of your vials. May you only need one of them!

This brings me to a question I had, though: Does one vial equal one attempt? Or can they save half for later? Them's some expensive little swimmers!

I am partial to the old-school term "Elderly Primigravida" for the Over 35 & Pregnant set. I was gonna put that on a t-shirt...

Congrats on taking the first HUGE step in this amazing journey! I only have 4 (give or take) weeks left before The Bean is born, and I don't think that I could have appreciated or been so fulfilled at having gone through my pregnancy during my 20s or even early 30s. There's something to be said for being of advanced maternal age, methinks.

Can't wait for the next chapters to unfold, Sarah!

At 35 I had been trying to get pregnant (on my own, just like you) for a year when my boss sat me down in her office to share the news of her pregnancy. She was 41. She had stopped taking the pill and boom - a week after conceived. She was always cocky to begin with, but with having defied the doctor's predictions, she's even more so now, with comments like "my problem is I'm too fertile."
Like you, I "hate" her. Mostly because she's a reminder of my failed attempts.

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My Books (with Elizabeth Craft)

  • 'Bass Ackwards and Belly Up' and 'Footfree and Fancyloose' tell the story of four best friends who commit the ultimate suburban sin: putting off college to pursue their dreams.

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    What is Starfish Envy??

    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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