Well, the second worst thing.
Having to count on other people to do the inseminating.
There's a lot I can do on the prep-work front: eating right, exercising, getting acupuncture, taking herbs and vitamins, meditating, monitoring my fertility status, taking ovulation predictor tests.
But the actual inseminating?
That takes someone else. And at the moment, I'm feeling like that someone else is letting me down.
I love my doctor. I even like her partner, who came up with the current plan of action. I just don't feel confident it's a very good plan. And I feel fairly powerless to change it.
Now, who knows. Maybe waiting three days after my fertility monitor first says I'm at peak fertility to even do a trigger shot is the way to go. Maybe I won't ovulate on my own-- although with two follicles on my left ovary, both a perfectly good size, the chances seem good that I will, if I haven't already. Maybe waiting until Day 17 and 18 of my cycle to do the IUIs is perfect timing.
But I kinda don't think so.
Which means that this whole cycle might be a bust. I'm not even sure I should waste the sperm, frankly.
It comes down to faith. Do I have faith in other people to do the right thing? To make the right decisions? To help me make this happen?
My only answer is this: I really wish I didn't have to.