I had one of those days on Saturday. It was SOOOO fun.
The day o' massive suckage started with an altercation with a hostile delivery truck driver at my favorite breakfast spot that ended with me crying. For hours. Seriously. Hours. Through both an ultrasound and an acupuncture session. The guy was f'ing crazy and terrifying. If the manager of the restaurant hadn't come out when he did, I would have called 911. As in, my finger was about to press the second '1' when help arrived.
A staggeringly not good start to the day.
Which was then followed by an appointment with my OB/Gyn's partner, who is now handling my fertility endeavors. He was very nice, and distracted me from my tears with tales of the presents he's getting his kids for their birthdays. But the ultrasound showed that I only have three follicles this month. After having four last month-- with a lower dose of fertility meds, mind you-- I was disappointed. I know that all it takes is one good egg, but when it comes to follicles, the more there are, the merrier I am.
I am not merry about three. In fact, it's all feeling rather pointless.
And THEN I went to my new acupuncturist, who seems good, but who clearly felt I should be seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist, not mucking about with a regular old OB/Gyn. Which, on top of the morning I'd just had, was really too much for me to handle. By the time I got home I was contemplating putting my head in the oven.
Not really. It's too hot to be anywhere near an oven.
But I was miserable beyond description. I couldn't even take a nap. Every time I closed my eyes, psycho delivery truck driver was there, berating me for not being able to back my car up around his big f'ing delivery truck.
It's now Sunday, and I still feel pretty much like crap. When something that unpleasant happens (and nothing that unpleasant has happened to me in years, maybe ever, if I don't include the deaths of loved ones), it makes me feel generally unsafe. Ill at ease. Like people aren't who I think they are. Like I should be somewhere else, be someone else.
It's not a good feeling. I hope it goes away soon.
By tomorrow morning would be nice.