By which I do not mean the lightning in a bottle that was the 70's Valerie Bertinelli, Connie Franklin, Mackenzie Phillips sitcom extravaganza.
I mean me.
One. Day. At. A. Time.
For the first time, yesterday, someone suggested that I give up.
"You've been doing this such a long time," she said. Implication being that if I haven't gotten pregnant yet, I'm not going to.
So I explained that all the times I tried, I had polyps that no one knew about. Which kept me from getting pregnant. And the one IUI I've done since the polyps were removed was futile, because my sperm donor's numbers were so abysmal.
Upshot being that the year and half I've put into this has been entirely pointless. So while it SEEMS like and FEELS like I've been doing this forever, in reality... I haven't even started yet.
Which comes close to making me want to slit my wrists.
I'm not quite there yet. But it does suck supremely.
To be so tired and to have put so much in... for nothing. To know that there was never a chance. And that in the year I've wasted my fertility has declined fairly dramatically.
I'm not quitting.