What is Starfish Envy?

L.A.  2009.  I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR.  I’m only half listening, because whenever I hear Isabella Rosselini, her Pan-European accent sends me drifting back to the summer I spent in Sweden, and the cute boys, and wood boats on the Baltic Sea.When I tune back in to Isabella, I’m a tenth of a mile further down the 101, and she’s talking about starfish.  Apparently starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, which I probably learned in grade school, but it didn’t stick. 

This time, it sticks.  This time, it spins me like a wind of the gale force variety.  I mean, think about it!  Reproducing by yourself!  If I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband.  I wouldn’t have to internet date!  I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own.  I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption.  I wouldn’t sit around thinking, “If I were going to do in vitro, would I pick a friend?  Or go to a sperm bank?  If I picked a friend, who would I pick?  Who do I know who has good sperm?”  And I wouldn’t have to wonder-- if adoption is the route I choose-- which country to adopt from, or whether it’s fair to adopt internationally when there are so many kids in foster care right here. 

I would just have a baby.  Thus began my starfish envy. 

 

Comments

[anna fain]

I have a comment about the Kitchen Aid. Before I was graduated from HIGH School it was the old custom of having a hope chest. You bought or made as many things as you could to get ready for the day you got married. How dumb is that!They should have been saying stay out of the back seat and go to college. Some just had to marry as soon as possible so they would not be an old maid, at 17 or 18 for heaven sake! My first marriage was a disaster and I threw a lot of things away I had from that adventure, bought new ones I wanted when I was single, and then got married again with all this gear. Now that can screw up your dreams if you are holding out for the kitchen aid. I guess my point is--- its your stuff, you should buy it, pick it out, try it out. When you get married hold out for China and Silver that is expensive and you both like it so its Ours. Its much more fun picking things out with your husband if you have one or by yourself if you dont have one than getting it from someone else. Things are just things. You just make your life as happy and full as you can and the rest takes it own time in getting there. Some never marry, some never have children, some marry often, some have too many children. Who knows? Dont be afraid to give a personal life a real try. Your career has been hard and scary at time, its not going to get worse than that. Your self confidence will take you any place you want to go, what stops you?

[22]

Yo S,

I wonder if starfish envy the way we do it...just a thought!

Big Smiles - 22

[kevin]

fishermen used to cut up starfish they caught in thier nets to kill them off.....it turns out all the pieces became new starfish...just a thought

former jeopardy contestant

[school_dubl]

Happy New Year! Happiness and success in 2011.

[chicken coops]

You should just go for it, motherhood is the best thing in the world :)

[Connie Omari]

Well, I see that I missed this time in your life, but I am happy that you worked through your starfish envy and received the greatest gift in the world... Congratulations!