The Skinny on Fat, Part One

I’ve lived in Los Angeles for twelve years.  I’ve been thin there, and I’ve been fat there.  Right now, I’m somewhere in between.  Working on it.  Getting there.  Apparently I’m   not-fat enough that folks feel comfortable expressing their feelings about fat people around me.  Yay!  Lucky me.

Now, in general, I think our society is pretty judgmental.  But it’s fair to say that when it comes to weight, L.A. is probably the most judgmental place in the world.  (Except, possibly, wherever my mother happens to be.  When it comes to weight, she's in a judgmental league of her own.  Sorry, Mom, but you know it's true.) There’s nothing worse than when a skinny person who has always been skinny and never had to seriously struggle with food issues or weight issues gets all uppity about fat people.  “I mean, they know what they have to do,” they say.  “Is it so hard to exercise?”  And my personal favorite: “Just eat less, for God’s sake.”

Let’s entirely disregard the many emotional triggers that cause people to over eat.  The Judgmental folks certainly do.  And frankly, those reasons are too varied to cover in anything less than a multi-volume tome.  I will say, though, to the Judgmental folks, if you don’t struggle with any of those emotional triggers, count your blessings.  Try being thankful, instead of judgy.  And take a moment to examine your own triggers, because you know you’ve got ‘em.  (Everyone does.  They just come out in different ways.)  What do your triggers cause you to do?

Moving on to the “they know what they have to do,” argument.  Recently I listened to a conversation in which WP tried to explain to a couple Judgmental folks that there are huge segments of our society who, in fact, don’t know what to do to lose weight—and in fact, if they did know would have an almost impossible time actually doing it.  I didn’t participate in the conversation because I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to keep the annoyance out of my voice, and I’m horribly averse to conflict.  But I’ve been thinking about it ever since, so here’s what I would’ve/should’ve said:

First, people eat the foods they were raised eating.  If you weren’t raised to eat veggies and fruit and whole wheat whatever, that stuff just doesn’t sound good.  Not only does it not sound good, it takes a long time for it to start tasting good.  When my taste buds want my grandma’s fried chicken, and instead they’re getting a skinless grilled chicken breast… well, bore me to death why don’t you?  It takes a lot of effort and discipline to retrain your mind and body to want and like healthy food.  If you even know what “healthy” means.  Which brings me to…

Many people (I’d even say most people) know absolutely nothing about nutrition.  Nothing.  It’s not taught in most schools, and it’s not taught in most homes.  That’s hard for some people to fully comprehend, particularly in Los Angeles, where HEALTHY is ubiquitous.  I'm thirty-seven and very well-educated, yet until recently, I knew diddly about nutrition.  (Even though I'd read a bunch of books.  My mind's like a sieve with that stuff.)  And it doesn’t help that most Americans have no concept of appropriate portion size.  We are the culture of bigger-is-better.  That’s changing, but very, very slowly.  Combine that with our stressed-out, over-worked lifestyles, and the multitude of root causes of emotional triggers for over eating…  Of course there’s an obesity problem. 

You think I’m done?  I’m so not done.  But the rest will have to wait until tomorrow, when we’ll get into WP’s diabetes diagnosis, grocery stores in the “bad” part of town, the time it takes to eat right, and exactly how much I pay every month to be healthy...

Comments

[Elizabeth Hickey]

No, they don't know what to do, because nutritionists, scientists, the media, everyone has been telling us to do the absolutely wrong thing. Low fat, 1250 calories a day, starvation diets, which do not work. And when they don't, guess who gets blamed? The fat person, for her lack of willpower and discipline! Have you read Good Calories, Bad Calories, by Gary Taubes? It has changed my life.

[Liz]

Great post, Sarah! I think the fact that nutrition class isn't mandatory in public schools is absolutely outrageous. (Same goes for basic economics but I digress.) Can't wait to read the next installment.

[Sarah Fain]

I haven't read that, but I am ordering IMMEDIATELY-- thanks, Elizabeth.

[22]

Yo S,

I think you hit out of the park with this portion...

"...it doesn’t help that most Americans have no concept of appropriate portion size. We are the culture of bigger-is-better. That’s changing, but very, very slowly. Combine that with our stressed-out, over-worked lifestyles, and the multitude of root causes of emotional triggers for over eating… Of course there’s an obesity problem."

...it would be so cool to have Adult Recess implemented into our schedule....just a thought.

Peace - 22

[Sarah Fain]

22, adult recess is a BRILLIANT idea! And at least one study has shown that adults who take naps have less heart disease-- so I think we should institute a recess/nap time combo. Turns out we really had it right when we were kids...

[Kate]

I find it hilarious that people sneer when you just mention healthy food. It's like the mention of it will contaminate them or something. :) But, I definitely agree that the foods you're raised around effect and mold your tastes and preferences. In fact, re-training yourself can be a bit of a challenge.

I'm very much a black and white person, though. I found that telling myself something was off-limits and unhealthy worked for me... I'd avoid it like the plague. At first it certainly took more time, thought, and effort to "eat healthy", but now it's second nature to me. I've also become a little more reasonable on some things that I wasn't in the past, which I think has helped me be more balanced.