Crossing Over... with Jon Favreau

You know what’s weird?  Looking up from your desk and finding Jon Favreau standing in your office.  I’m talking Jon Favreau the speech writer, not Jon Favreau the actor.  And by speech writer, I mean SPEECH WRITER TO THE PRESIDENT!  In my office!  Craziness.

Here’s what I discovered in my three minutes with Jon Favreau: I have absolutely no idea what to say to people who do amazing things that make a difference in the world.  And I am old.  Very, very old. 

Fortunately, WP is better at small talk than I am and had a nice chat with Jon and his buddies (who are friends with one of the ‘Lie to Me’ writers) about the lovely and talented Jennifer Beals (and the fact that these guys are too young to remember ‘Flashdance’--  WHAT?).  I pretty much just stood there awkwardly.  Someone has to do it, why not me?

I’m excellent at standing awkwardly.  It’s a particular skill of mine, and one I try to cultivate at every opportunity.  I worked on it tonight, in fact, at a dinner party.  I’d been sort of dreading going, because of the whole single woman thing, but despite a certain amount of my patented awkward standing, I actually had fun.

Part of that, of course, was the other guests, all of whom were interesting and fun to talk to.  But the biggest part of it was… me.  Something significant has shifted in me since I got serious about becoming a single mom.  To steal from Callie Khouri, “Something’s crossed over in me and I can’t go back.”  At least, I hope I can’t.  For the first time in my entire adult life, I’m not unhappy about being single.  I’m not happy about it, either.  But it’s not keeping me up at night.  (Mind you, I reserve the right to backslide when my friends’ wedding rolls around in November.  Weddings are a whole other level of sucks-to-be-single.)

One reason for the shift, I think, is that I’m not waiting anymore.  I’m not waiting for the boyfriend or the husband who magically makes all the pieces fall into place.  I'm not putting contingencies on the things I want-- I'm going after them.  I’m moving forward, and I’m astonished by how liberating and exhilarating that is.  

And if The Guy appears at some point and wants to catch up, that’s fine.  But I’m going where I’m going… with or without him.

Comments

[ramya chari]

I think it is amazing that you are not waiting for someone to complete your life. I am happily married and I still wait something or other to happen to be happy. It really doesn't matter whether you are single married divorced as long as you are happy with yourself. Only I am in charge of my happiness. funny why i don't do enough to make me happy

[Jeannie]

I came your blog courtesy of The Happiness Project and am so happy to have found it. I, too, am a single, 37-year-old Virgo living in a major city (though on the other coast). Several ideas have been percolating in my head (a big move? more school? single motherhood?) and, frankly, I often feel they are too big to consider seriously. I say good for you for making this decision -- it will definitely be difficult but very rewarding. I wish you much joy!