Thirty-eight Special (Meaning Me. Not the Gun. Or the Band.)

Usually I don’t remember my  birthday from one year to the next, but this year I do.  Because one year ago today I was in Las Vegas with four girlfriends, and after the Cirque de Soleil Beatles show (amazing), between bites of filet mignon at a terrific steakhouse, WP (who is obsessive about toast-giving) gave a lovely toast in which she predicted that the next year was going to be BIG.

Indeed, it has been.  In the twelve months since that toast, one of the women at the table (you may know her as K) has had an adorable baby boy.  WP herself is now six months pregnant.  Another girlfriend at that table got engaged and will be married in November (see One Wedding and a Meltdown).  And the other remains single and flat-bellied, but sold her first feature film pitch about a month ago.

And then there’s me:

• I exercised consistently for the first time in my life. (Four or five times a week, for a whole entire year.  I’m actually impressed with myself for this one.  And grateful to my trainer, Rita.)
• I ate no fast food for a whole entire year. (Thirteen months now… though I did have a Wendy’s frosty a few weeks ago.  It was GOOD.)
• I changed from match.com to chemistry.com.  Results inconclusive.
• I worked on two tv shows (‘Dollhouse’ and ‘Lie to Me’).  Both great.  Both make me proud.
• I lost thirty-five or forty pounds. I don’t weigh myself often because it stresses me out, but it’s somewhere in there.
• I developed a YA book series that I love… and that I don’t have time to write.
• I bought a KitchenAid stand mixer. Which is still in the trunk of my car, but the point is I bought it.  I own it.  It’s in my possession.
• I decided to sell my house.
• I got my mom's estate planning (almost) done. 
• I nursed Moose through hip replacement surgery.  You have no idea.
• I started this blog.
• And I decided to have or adopt a baby on my own. 

Yeah.  I think that qualifies as a big year.  

Still, I’m gonna take this opportunity to predict that thirty-eight is going to be much, much bigger. Thirty-eight is the year when the working and the fretting and the planning and the melting down and the freaking out and the organizing and the researching and the yearning all come to fruition.  Thirty-eight is when the becoming-a-mom thing stops being theory and starts being real.  

And I kinda can't wait.

.

Have you ever had a year that changes everything?  What was your biggest year?

Comments

[Maria]

Happy 38th birthday! Funny thing, I just stumbled upon your blog for the very first time and it happens to be your 38th birthday. The other funny thing is that I also turned 38 this year. (In fact, 8/24 is my half birthday.) And the third thing is that over the past year of so I've been asking myself a lot of the same question you seem to be asking in your blog.

[Melinda]

Happy birthday Sarah! You're awesome. So glad to read your updates. It's amazing what you can do once you decide to do it. Much love, M.

[Sarah Fain]

Thanks, Melinda! XO

And Maria-- Happy half-birthday! They're huge questions, aren't they? I hope you stick around and let me know if you find any answers. It's scary, but I really am starting to be more excited than afraid. Finally!

[L]

Happy Birthday. May it be the year you realize your dreams. (Well, the ones you haven't already.)
XO

[Sarah Fain]

Thanks, Les! XO

[Kathy]

Hey, Sarah. Happy birthday! First time here, just linked from happiness project. I adopted 2 children through social services - became a foster parent first, let them know that I wanted to foster children who were more likely to be adoptable in the future, got 2 kids within 6 weeks (one 5 month old, one 21 month old) and they are now officially mine! Yes, some heartache and stress along the way. But nobody gets a freebie, right? On the plus side: it's FREE, as a matter of fact, we get a stipend of $475 per month per child til they're 18; no pregnancy and all that goes with it; and, most importantly to me, helping out a child who was already a part of my community! You have NO IDEA how many children are out there! And some of them are very young....I'm talking baby babies!

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now. Good luck and I'll continue to follow your story as it unfolds!

[Christina McBride]

Happiest of birthdays, Sarah! Glad I met you during the big year so I can watch the big big BIG year unfold. Your blogs posts have inspired me tremendously, and I look forward to them every day. Much much love and wonderful birthday wishes! *Chrissy

[val]

Happy birthday! Just stumbled here yesterday from Gretchen Rubin's blog, and found myself reading your hillarious (and sometimes heart wrenching) blog for over an hour. You've made a ton of progress in the last couple months (congratulations!), and I'm so excited to see what you do next. You're officially on my bookmarks!

[Sarah Fain]

Thanks, Crissy! What's your Saturday look like? Email me if you want to have lunch...

And Val, you totally made my day! Very happy to be on your bookmarks!

[Billy]

Happy Birthday!

[Rebecca Littlest (aka Rebecca Silverman Fitzgerald)]

Happy birthday, Sarah! The last two years have been a 180-degree change for me, but I’m having a bad day. So, I’ll keep my negative energy to myself and just say, think of how many people are sitting around, thinking to themselves, “I wish I’d followed my creative dreams, moved to California, gone to the gym, started a blog…” Basically, you rock!

Have a great night,

Rebecca

[Paloma]

Hi Sarah,

I discovered your blog over the weekend, after being introduced to the the Happiness project by my girlfriend who always discovers great blogs. Like Val in this comment list, I too have put your blog in my bookmarks. Reading your entries keeps me hopeful as a single woman who is so discouraged by the dating scene, and just ended my account with match.com! I wish you all the luck with every exciting element in your life right now....it inspires me to keep the faith in myself and my choices. Happy Birthday!

[Sarah Fain]

Thanks, Paloma! Keeping the faith ain't easy, is it? I just keep reminding myself that I have everything I need-- maybe not everything I want, but everything I need. That's a great start!

[Lisa Randolph]

Happy Birthday Sarah! I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. You are quite inspiring these days (not that you weren't before). xo

[Sam]

Most of the time I beleive that the rest of the world has got it together that it is only me that, while I'm 37 going on 38, still feel like a kid most of the time. While I'm successful and happily married and own a bunch of properties I still feel like everyone else does a much better job of managing their lives and they are "adults" while I, along with Mr. Sam, still live like a sorority girl (yes those are empty beer bottles in our front yard, but we hide them in the bushes).

I love your little blog, just came across it via happinessproject.com (me and Gretchen are soal mates, I need my gold stars), and I'll be following long as I turn 37.

Wanted to second Kathy's suggestion, although we did not actuall commit we did go through the foster partent education classes and are still considering that route to parenthood. Foster parenting has changed dramatically over the last 15 years and there are kids and babies that need good homes (the stipend and free college education are a bonus) and parental rights are terminated, generally, at a much faster clip so that the kids don't hang out as foster kids forever. Just google your local department and children and families and the photos/stories of those kids will melt your heart.

[Sam]

I meant turning 38, and I have to note, after reading the comments, that I met Mr. Sam via match.com (we have now been together 7+ years and married for almost 3).

[Jenny P.]

Sarah, I missed this! Happy Happy! Hope you enjoyed yourself. I'm so excited to see you taking this dream forward. As you probably know, I'm in the same boat, but have decided I really don't have the financial situation to be able to support another being.

Steve N. keeps me up to date a bit. Let's be back in touch...

[Heather]

Happy Belated Birthday! Biggest year ever was when I was (now I have to count...) twenty-seven. Ah yes. That was the year I had strep throat in Canada on my birthday and ended up at (not in) the hospital. Left a very well-paying job, came home, switched apartments, went to London on a crappy-paying job, unemployed unemployed unemployed dating unemployed. Dad died two weeks before my 28th birthday.

So that wasn't the best of years, but at least I was working for part of it! (You'll understand that.)

I met the husband later that year, technically two months after the birthday cut-off. It happened about a week after I declared, "The Universe owes me a damn explanation, and I'm here to collect!"

[Sarah Fain]

Sam, that's excellent to know. Maybe it's not too late to meet a Mr. Sarah! Yes, I've looked into fostering to adopt. (I think I've looked into everything! But I mean I've looked into it seriously-- went to a weekend DCFS workshop, spent a lot of time online, talked to social workers, etc.) It's an excellent option... I'm still weighing the pros and cons of every road to parenthood...

[Sarah Fain]

Hi Stewie! You should read a great book called "Knock Yourself Up," by Louise Sloane. It's really about getting pregnant on your own, but there are so many stories from women in all different kinds of jobs who've done the single mom by choice thing. Might be worth checking out-- I miss you! XO

[Sarah Fain]

Heather... Weren't those the glory days (pun intended)! Excuse me, I have to go let the universe know IT'S TIME TO COLLECT!

[Jen]

Hmm, I'm working on a decade of big things, my 40's. Nothing much happened beyond the normal college-job-single life thing until I turned 40. Then, bang bang bang: marriage at 40, infertility for 3 years, daughter at 44, and unbelievably, widow at 45. Now at 47, I'm hoping to round out the decade with peace, happiness, and another husband. Can't wait to hear how chemistry.com works out for you!

[Sarah Fain]

Wow, Jen-- I hope you find peace, happiness, AND love. I hope I do, too! It is certainly true that no one can anticipate how radically and suddenly life may change. From now on, I vote only for changes-for-the-better.