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Hi Sarah,

I just wanted to let you know that I love your blog and your writing. I think its very couragous of you to be so real and to put your life out there for everyone to see. I have hope that you will meet your someone special and that you will become a mommy.

I can relate to your situation in the fact that I'm single (still a little bit young though, I'm in my 20's). I certainly get a lot of questions from my family about being single, but I always try to keep in mind that someday I won't be single and won't be able to enjoy the positives of this lifestyle.

But anyways back to you! I read your post about your favorite blogs yesterday and the Happiness Project blog is also a favorite of mine (its how I found this site!). I thought I would share a link with you to an interesting post written by Leo Babauta on Zen Habits about parenting.


Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy reading your posts-- keep up the good work!

Kind Regards,

woops *courageous

Sometimes life is so funny. Here I am, with a wonderful husband and kid, and right about now, your life (and tree house) sounds pretty awesome. (Except, I don’t like sleeping alone either. For me, it’s ghosts. My dad covered my eyes and let me listen to Poltergeist when I was little. Of course, what I imagined was worse than anything Hollywood effects could ever cook up.) You own a home – um, we haven’t gotten there yet, between my husband’s monumental DVD collection, my lack of discipline in turning down a sushi delivery menu, and a few financial rough spots. I think it goes without saying that you have the coolest job in the world. And, I can only guess, but – do you occasionally get to sleep late? Because with a kid, you NEVER do. There are no days off, no vacations, no sick days. And sometimes, your beloved kid will bounce a fish stick off your face after a long day of work, and all you can think is, “Where’s my martini? Or my hour with a good book and some QUIET?”

I think you’re very smart to plan on having a nanny. Because what every successful woman needs is a wife. I know I’m paraphrasing someone else’s deep thought here, but it’s true! My husband does an impressive amount of the wifing around our house – pretty much all of the dishes, most of the cooking (er, defrosting/microwaving), and all of the laundry (what?! I’m allergic to our moldy basement!). Meanwhile, I work a zillion hours as a freelance writer, and he has a full-time job, too. But still, we’re always looking around the kitchen as if there should be some magical third person —Mary Poppins? The stoic-yet-warm mom from Little House on the Prairie? — who can turn our chaotic family life into some kind of ordered, sensible peace. So far, no sightings yet.

So, you may be saying good-bye to the era of your life spent in your happy little house and exchanging them for something messier, wilder, more confusing, with bigger highs and lows. Fortunately, there’s a reason why people keep having more of these frustrating little munchkins: they’re so ridiculously cute! (If you don’t believe me, check out my Facebook page. Fair warning, though – my daughter is so irresistible she may make your uterus whine. Good thing, too, because she is a champion dinner-thrower!)

Thanks for giving us something wonderful to read and react to!

I came across your blog today via the Happiness project and I have to say that I love your writing style. I'm in LA too so I like the local references.

And the other reason I'll probably check your blog on occasion is because I'm going through IVF right now, with a donor egg. There are many tough decisions to make when you don't start a family in traditional ways. In the meantime, I hold onto adoption booklets because that could still be an option.

Best of luck to you!

And I have to agree with Rebecca, you seem to have a pretty wonderful and enviable life.

Samantha, thank you for the link to the article. I added ZenHabits to my daily rss feeds. It's a really terrific article-- I hope others click on it as well.

Rebecca-- Excellent points (and I have to admit, my life is pretty great, just in different ways that I was expecting!) The fish stick bouncing off the face made me laugh out loud...

Winona-- I'm sure starting a family is daunting for many people, but it's definitely more daunting and a lot harder logistically (and mentally) when you can't just have a lot of great sex with a spouse and BOOM be pregnant. (This is why starfish are so damned lucky.) Thanks for reading, and for commenting. I wish you loads of luck as you start your family! Best, Sarah

Saying goodbye to a house is hard because you're saying goodbye to a home, and for the all the reasons you are leaving it. When everything was packed and the moving truck had gone and my house was empty I lay down on the floor of my walk in cupboard upstairs and cried my eyes out holding the front door key in my hand. I thought I'd left my soul there, but I hadn't because home comes with you to your new place.

I just found your blog at the Happiness Project and I love it!

Yo S,

I haven't chatted back in a while and it looks like your blog has sparked a fire! I find it amazing that so many people can connect with you experience...and I am pondering the thought of "...if a child of mine read this blog...18 years from now...and it was their Mom behind the forum...What would they think and feel..."

Just a thought for your next entry...


Thanks, Conroy. You're so right. I remember when my mom sold the house I grew up in, it was absolutely crushing. I really felt like I'd lost a huge part of my childhood. But, as you say, home comes with you-- and thank goodness it does.

Hey, 22-- I wonder about that too. My guess is he or she will think-- my mom is a total hypocrite for being such a stickler about grammar!

And thanks, Ana!


Found your blog from Gretchen's recommendation at the Happiness Project. Guess what? I'm 37, I'm successful, I'm single, and I've also wondered about having a child on my own, without a man. Except that I live in Singapore where society is more conservation and I'm not strong enough to go against the grain.

Are you planning to be a single mum or are you waiting to find a partner first? I share your thoughts - having a baby is way easier if we didn't have to worry about finding a spouse first!

Lovely post...

I just left my dream home, 3 acres, 50 huge trees, hammock in the back yard, great place for my 3 kiddos to play, etc, and moved into the city so we would be closer to my hubby's work and we would have 2-3 more hours a day with him. I am still mourning for my house.

You know what, Sarah?
I married my high school sweetheart at 19 & got divorced at 37. The grass may SEEM greener, but you are exactly where you're supposed to be. Everyone's path is different, & while you may wish to be me (the married part, not the divorced part), I could wish to be you (college, career part). But my path brought me to my current life and I wouldn't trade a thing. I understand the issue of wanting kids & wondering what the right thing to do is, but I think you're smart enough to figure that out yourself. I really enjoy reading your blog though. Thanks for being so honest. Good luck!

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  • 'Bass Ackwards and Belly Up' and 'Footfree and Fancyloose' tell the story of four best friends who commit the ultimate suburban sin: putting off college to pursue their dreams.

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    What is Starfish Envy??

    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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