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How exciting to have a post reflect on a comment I made! I'm glad my thought struck a chord. I remembered where I read it: Nuala O'Faolain's "My Dream of You", toward the end where the main character talks with a priest about a decision she is facing. And interestingly, her professional life is going very well, though her personal life, not so much.

wow another great post! i also feel pretty comfortable and confident in my professional life but personal life-wise i tend to settle and get into relationships by default. i realize if i would've taken more time to get to know said woman, i probably would not have been in a relationship. i feel kind of goofy for saying it but my new "thing" is to try to learn how to date without getting serious. repeating to self, "do not settle." lol

Again, I can so relate to this. I like change too, I like the feeling of having too much to do and then getting it done anyway - I am way less productive when I don't have enough on my plate, oddly enough.

Honestly, one reason I decided to adopt is that I didn't want to be bored with the rest of my life. I needed a challenge, and raising a child seemed like a pretty darn worthwile challenge to take on!

But, now I'm feeling stuck. I'm miserable in my job, but feel like I can't leave because I will need the maternity time in a few months. Maybe I need to figure out a way to do the active thing in this situation...

The one thing that helped me several times already is the quote 'I rather regret the things I did do than the things I didn't do'. Not easy to live by but I try from time to time :-)

I heard this at a writing seminar, from screenwriter Jeff Arch, who seemed like a very compassionate and level-headed guy: "Let go of doubt and fear, and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish." I have found this to be very true.

"What would you accomplish in life if you knew you could not fail?" I try to think of that, and it's helped me take on challenges that I wouldn't have otherwise because I fear failure.

Then there's laziness, which I haven't found a way to get rid of yet. I am manic-depressive in my work habits: Days of accomplishment followed by weeks of sloth.

I love this post! I am the exact opposite of you Sarah. I *hate* change. Although once I try something new, I am usually happy. I've found that in my personal and professional life it takes me a while to leap (I've held the same job for 7 years) and I generally let other people make decisions for me. I subsequently resent some of these decisions (or how the decisions impact my day to day life) because I have very little part in making them. I am going to follow your advice, little by little, and become more active in my own life! Thanks for another terrific post. I hope you are feeling better!

I love change, too, so I've been thinking a lot about Jen's quote as well. I find that I want a major life overhaul every 3-4 years and I start getting antsy if it's not happening.

The words of wisdom that came to me when I read this are from my mother, who is the most generous person I know with her time, money, talents, and kindness. She regularly tells me that "you can't give away any flowers if your basket is empty." It's my reminder that I have to take care of myself once in a while.

The one I'm working with most now is "You always have time for what you do first." It's helps me think about my priorities and stop making excuses for not getting the important things done.

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that's a good start. Thanks for letting us tag along on your adventures in change!

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My Books (with Elizabeth Craft)

  • 'Bass Ackwards and Belly Up' and 'Footfree and Fancyloose' tell the story of four best friends who commit the ultimate suburban sin: putting off college to pursue their dreams.

    Publisher's Weekly said: "Full of romance and adventure, laughter and tears, the story is a reminder that veering from the straight and narrow road doesn't always lead to a dead end."

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    What is Starfish Envy??

    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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