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I'd say I'm about 80/20 like you.

J Rauch was right. The world would be a better place if run by introverts. Sometimes I'd like to do a very soft "shhhhhhhhhhhh" that the whole world could hear. Then I'd say "Please, everyone take a deep breath, slow down, and be quiet". LOL

I used to just think and tell people that I have social anxiety but I think now I'm just an introvert.


I have always thought I was an extrovert. The personality tests told me so. I, too, thought only shy people were introverts. But it turns out that I have been playing against type for my entire life. This would also explain why my extrovert in-laws are so incredibly taxing (you know, on top of all the other reasons.)

Heavy-duty introvert here! Probably 90/10.

Recently I read a bunch of books about the Myers-Briggs personality types. One of them (can't remember which) had a blurb about what is most stressful to people when they are trying to deal with the loss of a romantic partner in their life (by death, divorce or just plain breaking up). The extroverts hated the loss of day-to-day companionship, the lack of having someone there to talk with and listen to them, but once they got past their grief, they did pretty well with going out and socializing and finding new relationships. The introverts tended to deal better with the grieving period but were severely stressed by the prospect of dating again and having to put themselves "out there". And I read that and I thought, yup, that's me!! Because I'm in the middle of a divorce from the man I've been with ever since college (almost 20 years ago) and I can't for the life of me figure out how I'm going to meet someone new. Especially since I think I'd do better paired up with another introvert - and he's probably hanging (hiding?) out at home just like I am!

I'll tell you, as long as you look away while I'm talking, and perhaps hum quietly so that I won't feel put on the spot. Then you need to leave.

Yup, 98% introvert, married to 110% extrovert (the extra 10% is for sheer volume - both audible and physical). Forced to work against type for the last 12 years now, and tired of explaining why I need. my. SPACE. I showed him this article a while ago. He thought it was amusing, but more of a joke than anything else, because really, are there people like that? Really? ...

You're not going? OK - I'll just be stepping out for coffee, then - be right back. Just getting a breath of air.

I like to say I'm a gregarious introvert.

Ha! Love it. I can manage gregarious for about ten minutes twice a year.

Im fascinated to hear from all the introverts out there. Especially those (like my friend J, whos married to my VERY extroverted friend S) who have partners who are on the opposite end of the spectrum. I think its probably a healthy balance... as long as we introverts can get away now and then!

Sarah I think if I were married to an extrovert I'd lose my mind!

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    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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