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Oh, how frustrating. I'm sorry this cycle didn't work. But I truly believe that the right egg is just waiting for its turn. For instance, I didn't get pregnant right away with Jackson, and if I had gotten pregnant earlier, I wouldn't have had Jackson. And he was worth the wait. :) love m.

Ugh. I couldn't agree more with your previous post - it really is not ideal to have to rely on others to do the basting. Hopefully despite it not being ideal, that this will be the ONE. I have read several other blogs where this was the case.

Well, not ideal, but not impossible. Let's hope your donor has some really fast swimmers. :)

Good for you for going in and insisting, and for asking the right questions. Not to rock the boat, but if this cycle doesn't work, you might consider moving on to an RE (your current doctor is your OB/GYN, right?) Not that a non-RE can't do all the right things, but REs are dedicated to making babies, and timing of trigger shots and such are old hat to them.

Hi Sarah,

I am so sorry to hear that you feel you have missed a cycle, know how precious they are. Agree entirely that you need to trust yourself and question doctors until you are absolutely happy. On the plus side, it does sound like you got 50% of the ideal (I believe you said yesterday and today would have been ideal, and you got the today?) and are learning along the way. Also, you know from all the tests that everything is working well (and not everyone gets that :)). Just wanted to offer a slightly alternative perspective (I always appreciate when a friend does this for me and gets me back on track) – and I know this is hard - but please try to not let the frustration you are feeling (which is entirely reasonable) to undo all the positive things you are doing to fall pregnant. Keep positive :) - know it is hard. I am right there trying with you!

Sarah I'm glad you got in to the doctor. At least now your doctor knows that you are interested in the whys and hows and she should be prepared to answer them.

Don't totally write off this cycle. Millions of sperm and only 1 of them is needed. Stay positive.

Hugs, C

Ack! I don't totally understand why it's so clear to you when the best time is, yet your doctor can't see that on her own. I know you like your doctor, but looking at it from the outside... might be time for a new one.

Regardless, GOOD LUCK! Fingers crossed for you in upstate NY.

Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? Maybe so, if you know the fertility monitor isn't timing out right. Loved the book and it was dead-on right for me. Fingers crossed you won't need to even think about it after this.

Hi Sarah,
I second the suggestion about moving to an RE. I loved my first doctor so much, but now, having seen about one OB/GYN who did IUIs and three different REs, I have observed in detail how fertility doctors are not created equal. Many doctors, and that includes many REs, talk about established protocols for doing things, like x number of IUIs before moving on to IVF, or not doing trigger shots because they think they know when you are ovulating. If you get pregnant, that is great for all involved. But if you don't get pregnant, then you might later wonder if being more aggressive would have beaten the egg quality clock. My two regrets in fertility treatment are that I did not leave my first doctor soon enough, and that I was not more aggressive earlier. I hope I don't sound too preachy--I just wish someone had told me this when I was at your stage of treatments.

Just found your blog & looking forward to following your journey - - Wishing you luck with this cycle...

Is "You go girl!" too cheesy? Hooray for speaking up and being strong!

Oh -- apologies for not understanding the fact that your cycle is still in progress. Fingers crossed. Love m.

I'm holding a good thought. Conception (in any way) is 10% science, 90% miracle. Best wishes to you, Sarah.

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My Books (with Elizabeth Craft)

  • 'Bass Ackwards and Belly Up' and 'Footfree and Fancyloose' tell the story of four best friends who commit the ultimate suburban sin: putting off college to pursue their dreams.

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    What is Starfish Envy??

    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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