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What a nice story. Every child should have an Uncle Jim and Aunt Gene. A safe place.

The Council of Dads thing sounds really cool. I imagine any man who is asked to do that would think that it's an honor.

Peace, C

I love this idea - and I think I need to buy that book!

I've got two older, non-relative, women in my life who have taken it upon themselves to be Elfe's safe place, but I struggle with providing a male influence for her. Part of me feels like if I had someone who I felt comfortable filling that role, why aren't I married to him? I'm going to have to give this one a lot more thought, thanks for bring it up...

What a wonderful idea! As a widow with a small child, one of the biggest losses I've struggled with is my daughter's loss of a father. I love having an approach to help address my fears about what she may be missing without a close man in her life.

I never had anything like this growing up and am now facinated by the idea. I love, love, love the idea that a child needs a safe place, another set of adults, to turn to if they have to. My childhood could have really benefitted from this. My bet and strongest wishes go to you for finding this for your child.

*best not bet

I just read this post, and I thought that it was wonderful! My youngest cousin's (she's 21 now) father walked out of the picture when my aunt was pregnant because he didn't want any more kids (he had 3 from a previous marriage). She spent the first 12 years or so of her life with virtually NO contact with her biological father.

BUT... She never had to forgo her Girl Scouts troop father-daughter trip to a baseball game. Or her first father-daughter dance in middle school. Because she always had MY dad. From day one, he was her substitute dad (and on the rare occasion when he couldn't, my brother in law stepped in). My dad taught her how to build a birdhouse, complete with tiny, hand-made shingles. He's the one who drives from Philadelphia to Maine to move her in and out of her college dorm or apartment. And I have a feeling that one day, my dad will walk her down the aisle when she gets married.

After her father started reaching out to her when she was a teenager, she confided to my sister and me that "I don't need him now. I have Uncle N."

So I think that as long as any child has an Uncle Jim, an Uncle N, or the charming grandfather-type Mr. B, they'll be just fine.

I love this. I think you have been soul searching so beautifully with this blog, that YOU will be the safe place for your child, but a male council is also a wonderful idea. nx

Growing up, while I had my Dad, I always had Aunt Gene & Uncle Jim waiting as well. They have helped me on numerous occasions (as have you) growing up. It is always nice to know, no matter how many parents you have, that there is always that one special person/couple that you can turn to if you need them. Your child will be blessed to have you as a mom, and their own "Council of Dads"... not to mention the HUGE extended family.

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My Books (with Elizabeth Craft)

  • 'Bass Ackwards and Belly Up' and 'Footfree and Fancyloose' tell the story of four best friends who commit the ultimate suburban sin: putting off college to pursue their dreams.

    Publisher's Weekly said: "Full of romance and adventure, laughter and tears, the story is a reminder that veering from the straight and narrow road doesn't always lead to a dead end."

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    What is Starfish Envy??

    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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