Starfish Envy

End Of Week Two

And in this case, I mean Week Two of the remodel.  Not week two of the other thing-- which has only bad news to report.  We'll talk about that another day.

Right now, we're going to talk about my soon-to-be new bathroom.  The tile, specifically.  

It's looking great:

Unlike my toes, which look freakishly long and skinny.

Just noticed this on the door framing:

For some reason, I find that little notation oddly satisfying.  

Because years from now, when I've moved away to God knows where, my name will still be there, hidden but indelible, saying: I lived here once.  I may have moved on... but this damn door frame is mine.

Home Tweet Home

I don't talk about my job on my blog (okay, sometimes it spills over... but not often), but I have to make an exception to say that we (the writers of The Vampire Diaries) had a hilarious Twitter war today.

The result is that I, and all of the other writers, have a LOT more followers tonight than we had this morning.  

Plus, we had a very entertaining day... while accomplishing a lot. (I swear.  Episode 212 is coming along swimmingly.)

Anyway.  

If any of those new followers are dropping by, just want to say hi.  Welcome.  

The funny thing is, I never really anticipated a cross-over between my blog and my job. Which was probably silly.  And naive.  And dumb.

I started this blog to reach out to women like me-- single women in their thirties (or forties, or whatever), who were trying to figure out if they wanted to have a baby on their own.  It's a complicated and difficult decision and an exceptionally frustrating journey (it can, of course, be frustrating when you're married, too), and in sharing my still on-going journey I hoped I would be able to help other women... while helping myself process everything I was going through.   

Have I veered off topic now and then?  Hell yes, I have.  It's sort of a necessity.  Both for my own sanity and because... well, mostly for my own sanity.

Lately, the veering off topic tends to revolve around my remodel.  Because, aside from trying to get pregnant, that's what my life currently revolves around.  And for better or worse, this blog is a reflection of my life.

So... today in the life, my remodel continued to take large steps forward.

Laurie got a mirror and a sink, solved some tile problems, and sent me options for stencils to go around the bathroom window.  (How does anyone survive a remodel without a Laurie?)  I bought two amazing pulley lights for the living room.  The tile guys started in the bathroom.  The cabinet guys installed the shell of the vanity.  And the air conditioning guy stopped by to give a quote for the HVAC system.

And now I'm tired.  And feeling like I'm probably not pregnant.  Again.

Whatever.  On the whole, it was a good day.

Laying The Groundwork

Every day I am amazed by how much gets accomplished in my house.  

I've never done any large-scale remodeling before, and Lord knows anything could happen as we move forward, but I've always heard such horror stories.  About slow contractors.  About things going wrong.  About people saying they're going to do this or that and then doing the other thing.

So far, knock on EVERY PIECE OF WOOD THAT'S EVER EXISTED, this whole project is going significantly more smoothly than I imagined it would.  

Are there little things?  Of course.  But as long as the big things keep rolling along nicely, I'm not complaining!

Here's what got done today:

That's some kind of under-flooring, in preparation for putting down the tile.  Here's all the tile, waiting in the living room:

These tiles will be going in the foyer...

... and these will be in the bathroom...

And look!  Real walls!

All this, in a week and a half.  Pretty fantastic.

Hope I feel this way two weeks from now...

 

Closing In...

While I'm avoiding the elephant in the bloggy room (Yeah.  The whole Two Week Wait thing.), I'll be turning to The Great Remodel as a source of posts.  

Because, really, you can only write about how this TTC process sucks so many times.

New bathroom details, however?  That's a source of endless excitement.

Particularly today, when Laurie (project manager/designer goddess) and I went to Stone Mart, a slab store in North Hollywood.  If you've never been to a slab store, I recommend it highly, even if you're not remodeling.  It's like going to a gallery, only the paintings are better and happen to be made of rock.

Anyway, here's the slab I chose for my bathroom vanity:

The vanity will be cut from the middle section, and then, Laurie tells me, I can have the other bits cut into fun things like trivets.  Or coasters.  Or maybe turn them into a fountain for my new front patio.  I've never bought a big piece of rock before, but I quite like this one.

And here's what I brought to help me make the decision:

A piece of wood that's close to matching the stain on my soon-to-arrive vanity; a piece of the floor tile; the tile that will go around the tub/shower; and a couple items that helped me choose my overall bathroom palate-- a bud vase from Pottery Barn, and a linen hand towel.

So that's it!  Today I got walls.  Tile starts going in soon.

It's all coming together...

Progress!

Today, my bathroom passed the first inspection.

Tomorrow, the walls start going up.  Later this week, the vanity and tiles will go in.  

I presume this also means there will soon be a floor, which will be a welcome development indeed.  

In the meantime... I have a bathtub!

One Week In, One Week To Go

I am now right in the middle of the dreaded Two Week Wait.

This is the time when I start to obsess about every feeling between my neck and my knees. Is that implantation?  Am I getting cramps?  Why do my boobs hurt?  

It's hell.

It's also the time when you start to feel optimistic.

Which sucks.

Because that optimism is very quickly followed by the certainty that you're not, in fact, pregnant... and never will be... and it's all totally pointless and a waste of time and energy and money and most of all hope.

And, no matter what else is going on in your life, it's all you can think about.

Partly this is because, unlike people who can get pregnant the fun way and then forget about it for a couple weeks, much of my life revolves around the process of trying to get pregnant.  

And it's not fun.  In the slightest.  

It's doctor's appointments and acupuncture appointments and remembering to take pills and drink teas and record every tiny thing on fertilityfriend.com so I can keep track of... who the hell even knows what I'm keeping track of anymore?

I try to take some comfort in the fact that at least I now have a great doctor who timed my IUI perfectly.  And that, once this two week wait is over, I only have to do one more unsuccessful IUI before she'll let me move on to IVF.  

Which is harder and more expensive, but has a better chance of success. 

So my shreds of hope and I keep moving forward.

One baby step at a time.

Decision 2010

Today, I:

1) Chose a vent/light/heater for the bathroom.

2) Decided on the placement of my tub. (Laurie, BTW, bought and returned three tubs before noon to make sure we had the right one.)

3) Decided to build an enclosed patio area around the front of my house.  (THAT adds to the budget.  Oops.)

4) Chose and bought tile for the foyer floor.

5) Chose and bought tile for the bathroom floor.

6) Chose tile for the new patio.

7) Figured out what kind and color of tile I want around the tub/shower.

8) Figured out what kind of slab I want around the sink.

9) Worked with Laurie and the cabinet designer to create the PERFECT  bathroom cabinet.

10) Picked a grout color for the bathroom floor.

11) Got locked out.

12) Broke into my house and nearly broke my neck climbing through the living room window.  (Turns out, every now and then it's a good thing when workmen forget to lock windows up tight.)

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Did you make any decisions today?

My Twenty-Sixth Weekly Reading List

Back to the reading list!  It's been awhile, but there's a wealth of great stuff right now, so I can't avoid it any longer!

Let's start with this piece from Shannon at Chasing Rainbows. Whether or not to get a doppler seems to be a big question among pregnant women-- and this one post highlights both the downside and the upside.

And then there's this, from Jenna at Cold Antler Farm, on how being a "Jack of all trades, master of none" may not be a bad thing at all.

And I love this post on Yogini Cowgirl.  Sometimes you just don't know when your heels are down.

Finally, Women & Hollywood linked to this wonderful video from Hilary Clinton.  Like so many people, I've been saddened by the recent rash of suicides of gay teens.  The "It Gets Better" campaign from The Trevor Project has produced some great videos-- including this one, with Michael Chiklis from The Shield, Julie Benz from Angel, and Ian, Candice, and Kat from The Vampire Diaries.  And this one from Tim Gunn totally made me cry.

But my favorite, I have to say, is Clinton's video.  I just love her. 

Happiness Is A Brand New Bathroom... Soon. Ish.

I have officially survived Remodel Day Two!  

There was a slight glitch when the thudding and thwacking in the bathroom made the ultra-sensitive earthquake sensor on my gas meter turn the gas off, resulting in no hot water this morning... but the glitch was quickly handled, and by the time I got home tonight the water was as hot as always.  

Meanwhile, check out what they accomplished on Day One:

They removed the floor in the foyer, in preparation for putting in saltillo tile.  And they COMPLETELY gutted the bathroom.  As in, there ain't nothin' left.  Remember my lovely built-in hamper?  Well, it's still there.  It's just feeling a little lonely...

In addition to totally gutting the bathroom, they also took out the walls of the guest room closet and a little book niche that was in the hallway.  That space will now be part of my new bathroom.  

Ah, those extra two feet are going to feel soooo luxurious...

No Walls To Talk

It's strange to see the bones of your house.  

The beams and wires and pipes. The tar and water stains and insulation.

When I left the house this morning to workout, my bathroom was exactly as it's been for a decade or more.  An hour and a half later, the door was gone, the floor tiles were stripped, the sink (the sink!) was in the living room.  

And when I got home tonight...

My bathroom was gone.  

Just gone.  

Where there was once a bathroom, there's now simply... space.

Several years ago, my mother built a year-round house in Northern Minnesota, on the lake where my family has had a summer cabin for over fifty years.  I've never loved the house more than when it was finished, but empty.  

There's so much promise in empty space.  So much potential.  

I never saw the bones of my mother's house, but seeing the bones of my house tonight I felt that same sense of promise.  

And a certain relief at seeing for myself that the bones are strong.

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Have you been through a remodel?  Any words of wisdom?