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Ice cream. STAT.

I went with pie.

and there are still those definite benefits to a good cry.

sarah...you need to back away from your baby plans. just until you get some things off your plate...stress has lots to do with getting pregnant (trust me on that) and you are off the stress charts and with good reason. give yourself a break just until one of the things you mentioned is done. you are involved in a stressful business, the house thing is what it is but it's stressful, no matter how much you love the changes you're making. the land deal can get done the fastest, so get that checked off your list. and i'm just going to say...my husband has been in the financial business a long time and estate planning is an important part--and something is way off on your mom's deal...aren't you an only child? something rotten in denmark w/your planner. so...get the land handled, finish your house or make major headway, find another planner...then, take a breath and make a baby. give yourself a break sweetie and spike the eggnog. i wish i could help you, cook or shop for you or just give you a shoulder. my advice is the opposite of one step forward and two steps back...take a step back so you can take two steps forward-just give yourself a month or two..clear a space in your mind so you can be more at peace. i know this is hard to read but please know it's sent with the best intentions. when you are more clear your true colors will shine through. best, today & always

When I'm overwhelmed, I call in sick and pull the covers over my head for as long as possible...though I have to admit that what jerie b. says above makes a lot of sense to me too...

I vote ice cream though a good cry and then sleep help the frazzled nerves too. Hoping that things start falling into place soon!

Whenever I'm overwhelmed I exercise (or drink and eat but I've found I feel better with option a). You have a full plate but I'm confident you will get everything done. Just don't forget to take care of you. You seem to have such a generous soul and take care of others but You may need time for you! Don't wait for Barcelona to pamper yourself. Until then, big hugs from an avid reader (who thinks of herself as your friend). Xo

I don't know what it is about this week but I had a day like that yesterday. I just wanted to cry... and sleep... and eat something unhealthy (I ordered pizza). Hope you have a better Tuesday!

Hi SF ... I sleep when I'm stressed ... like narcoleptically ... it's a weird body reaction to stress ... but what I've been learning in these lsat few years is that I have to force myself to get moving ... do yoga (take a really intense class) ... meditate (there's a teacher named Harijiwan at Golden Bridge who teaches at 4 pm on Fridays who often does a Gong Layout to close his class ... amazing opportunity to let the sound current move your energy). And find something to laugh at ... even if it takes going to a lame comedy show ;)
Wishing you a better day today

I go with chocolate myself.

Lady, you aren't whining. You are just expressing how you feel. Whining is more of a complaining about every little thing when there really is nothing to complain about.

Shame on the contractor and his unprofessional yelling.
The real estate thing. I think that's a pretty cool thing you are doing there. It will be appreciated for generations to come I'm sure.
Mom's estate....sounds like it's time to get a "second opinion" from another lawyer, too much time & too much money says who you are using doesn't do what they do well.

Holiday stress sucks. Some years I think it's OK to be a Scrooge. I know many a Christmas has come and gone and I was MORE than happy to see New Year's Day!

I think a massage, a good cry AND some extra sleep would all work wonders. I'm a HUGE fan of retail therapy too. And I'm not talking about going Christmas shopping for other people. I'm talking about small frivolous spending on only yourself. Like walking into Pier One or Pottery Barn and just buying a knick-knack because you really like it.

Pamper yourself. Go into Starbucks and order a yummy calorie-filled holiday drink. Healthy eating be damned for a day! Pick up a new coffee mug while you are in there because they have some great ones.

Most importantly just remember to breathe. You've got tons of friend who care about you (real and online) and are hoping and praying for only good things for you.

You know I pray, and I like to pray pretty specifically when I can. I will be praying for you this week to experience peace and comfort in all that goes on.


Sorry to hear you're so overwhelmed. It all sucks.

When I'm stressed, I get sort of defiant toward the universe: As in, I can do ONE THING at a time. And when I am doing that one thing, nothing else can get done, so everything else just needs to BACK THE F* OFF.

And then I proceed to do one thing at a time. Which is all that I can do.

Also: yoga.

Pretty high class problems. You have a job? Lucky you. You own a house? Lucky you. You can afford to remodel? Lucky you. You have a parent with an estate that needs planning? And money for lawyers? Lucky you. You can afford fertility treatments - not to mention health care of any kind? Lucky you. You can buy 30 acres of land you don't need? Lucky you.

yoghurt and excercise. tomorrow is another/a better day.

alamos road, my sarcasm radar is a bit off today, so i'll just assume you're saying this to be, erm, helpful. high class problems are still problems. and maybe you didn't see the title; presumably as a writer, sarah knew wxactly why she used 'whining' instead of, i don't know, 'suffering'. you know?

Sometimes you're allowed to whine. It's okay.

I don't do this nearly often enough but -- in theory -- I advocate a glass of red wine and some sort of movie that's SUPPOSED to make you cry. You get to relax and let it out while not focusing on you.

I normally don't get into it on other people's blogs but i happen to think the freedom of speech thing does have some limits. as much as i would like to tell ALAMOS to hit the ROAD i will refrain and explain.
the purpose of this blog as i see it is to support and offer advice to our online bff sarah on her journey to become a parent. you are right, she is lucky is all sorts of ways, most of us are...we know there is always someone who has it a lot worse but that is not the focus of this blog IMHO. i think your anger is real but directed at the wrong person...blog your senators and representatives and get involved if you want the system changed. start a blog of your own and get some support there. in closing, you are kicking the wrong hornet's nest here and i hope 2011 is better for you and yours.

i like jerie b. every time i see her comments. sarah: i read you religiously. you make a difference in my life. i am considering taking the road you are on and you give me hope with a dose of reality. it takes some serious guts to put out your real emotions and "stuff" for anyone to see. i agree with jerie though. take a step back. your plate is too full. each of the things you are doing are stressful and crazymaking and you are trying to do several of them at one time. it's a set up to fall down. don't let this sabatoge you. take a day or two or however many and take care of you. hibernate then cry or whatever feels right and let a few things just sit for a minute. I know you feel like you have no time and you have to hurry up and have a baby but you have some time to just get some of these ducks in a row and then be in a better place to continue. good luck. and thanks again for forging the path for i am sure a few of us. I admire and respect you not only for trying to do this but publishing it. Your blog is a gift. so are you.

Oh, Sarah. I'm sending you a hug right now, introvert to introvert. (So probably more of a shy wave, but heartfelt.) Yes, of course you're lucky - fortunate, blessed, high-class indeed - but that doesn't make your problems any easier to bear, just different from AR's issues, I'm betting. (Oh, and it's not like you tripped and landed on all that good fortune - you worked your tuchus off for it!) It's still stuff to wade through, still stuff that keeps you up at night, and you shouldn't feel bad for venting every once in a while. We all do it - we all need to.

That said, I'm all for the letting-off-of-steam plan, as well as the lightening-your-load plan. What would a month off from the TTC plan do, anyhow? Give you a chance to have a glass of wine, save a buck or two, take the dogs for a walk off-schedule... cut yourself some slack, honey. I've learned (OK, am still learning) we can't do it all.

Make chocolate chip cookies. Keeps you busy for a while, fills the house with a yummy smell, makes you wait a little (builds anticipation) and if eaten while still warm and the chips are gooey, can significantly reduce stress. The time it takes to mix, bake and cool puts some distance between yourself and the peak of the crisis. Calling someone to eat them with you is optional, but is another level of real stress relief. You'll have plenty of time to consider this during the bake. If not, eat the cookies with milk in front of a favorite movie.

What a load of crap, Alamos. Problems are problems. Just because they're different from yours doesn't make them less valid.

Miss Sarah - do whatever thing it is that helps you focus and get things done and don't pay any attention to the folks who want to kick a person while she's down.

And probably lay the smack down on the contractor. Sounds like he needs to be reminded who's writing the checks.

I keep starting comments and erasing them because they're all about AR. Suffice it say I admire you readers for your gentle responses. Leave it at that. S, hang in there.

Oh -- I understand feeling overwhelmed. I'm trying to have a baby on my own too (on top of a million other things), and the stress seems to manifest itself in a permanantly tense belly. Which I'm pretty sure is bad for fertility. Anyway, here are the things that help my belly a little: Friends, whether they're supporting you or you're supporting them (other people's problems can really help keep it all in perspective). A glass of wine (maybe not great for fertility, but it does help me unwind a little, which can't be bad). Work, especially the kind that engages all your attention (I teach, and when I'm in front of the class, everything else goes away). Watching my dogs and remembering to try to live in the moment like them. A great tv show (have you tried Dexter?). Exercise, mostly because it helps me sleep. And reading this blog (thanks!!).

Oh -- and this one's about/for Mr/Ms "Lucky you." I know that, like Sarah has, I have been blessed in many ways. I have a great job, good friends, a healthy body (except for those darned ovaries), etc. But I am still a human being and I still suffer: I'm lonely, I miss my family, I wish I could have a child. These are not trivial preoccupations (I'm not sitting around worrying about which china set to use for high tea). They are profound human issues that trouble people of all classes around the world. I think it is wrong to say that some people "have it easy." There are some kinds of struggles that money can't fix. Human is human, regardless of how much money someone has. So, Alamos Road, stop being jealous and resentful. Try to have some empathy. Life can be hard and it makes it easier to realize that it is hard for almost everyone.

I've had a window open to your post all this week. The graphic and your line "there's just TOO MUCH" just really struck me. It seems like all I've been saying inside my head--and outside of it more and more--is "it's all just too much." Like other posters have said, I may not know you, but I'm pulling for you because I'm feeling the same things. Thank you for articulating these feelings-your words help others.

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    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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