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Yep, AMA can bite me as well. With regards to technical infertility, I wrote a post a while back about "Social Infertility" (http://mycheapviolin.blogspot.com/2010/12/social-infertility.html) that may interest you (excuse the formatting if you visit it).

After 9 failed IUIs (with one confirmed pregnancy, & two other possibles) I probably am infertile, but because I blame the clinic's stuff-ups with timing etc I'm not entirely certain. I totally accept however, that I am socially infertile and just as entitled to the same level of consideration & support as any other type of infertile. I've found the infertility community on-line has been incredibly accepting and supportive.

I'm using my blog for stress management. I wish I had discovered its therapeutic benefits earlier :)

That sounds like a great class, I could use something like that; I'd prefer that than the expensive 1:1 therapy sessions with an infertility psychiatrist. I hope you find it helpful. Stress sucks! Infertility (however labeled) sucks!

it surprises me a bit that you are the only single person in the class in this day and age but what do i know. i 'go to a place' in my mind that helps me with stress and it's odd but works for me...the veranda of karen blixen's house in out of africa, cue the soundtrack.rattan chaise, dog nearby, soft breeze..vast horizon..quiet-must have lived there in another life but it's my 'spot'. i was AMA too and have a couple of sons that are 2 mins. apart so they can bite me as well. who decides that shit?
i will offer this: when the spouse/sig.other/whatevs show up you will probably understand the other stresses in their lives (well, no wonder)..at least your stress is your own and that's way enough and i'm all for whatever gets one through the long, dark night. was not above chants, voodoo or potions...but i never lost hope. and it floated. i do not understand a world in which babies are born to women who do not want them and yet we struggle so desparately to conceive a child who will be cherished and protected and loved. as i said in an earlier post..i hope it rains babies for all of you who want them and bless you for keeping hope alive for your readers who struggle as well. we are not in this boat alone. p.s. download the soundtrack to OfA, couldn't hurt.

It stresses me out when well meaning friends and relatives say things like "quit trying and that's when you'll get pregnant" or "you just need to stop thinking about it." (I"m starting IVF round 2 in a few months). I de-stress by controlling the things I can and trying to ignore the things I can't. For example, I can't sell my condo and buy a house because property values on the decline where I live. So instead, I'm buying a new car and camper to make me happy. This will give me something to do so I don't spend too much time being sad that I don't have any children and may never be able to have them. Best wishes on a low stress, successful IVF!

I hear that about the stress thing...I was told today that if I didn't start learning to manage my stress I would be unable to stay in my current position AND unhirable elsewhere. Sounds like a life sentence.

The worst part is my doctor has said the same thing regarding my life expectancy.

So share everything you can about stress management--some of the rest of us greatly appreciate it. :)

Yoga and breathing- but I don't do it nearly as often as I should. When we were trying to get pregnant (which was a process for all of our kids) I started going to a counselor and it really helped. I guess the best way to explain it is that it helped me organize my emotions. And when you are trying to get pregnant it is impossible to stop thinking about it. Glad you found something that helps with stress!

I was coming here to share this with you anyway - and here you have a recent post on the selfsame topic. Hope all is well and you have a lovely weekend.

Every time I hear that there are too many things happening at the same time and it will be difficult to deal with the days events, make some positive self-talk. Tell yourself that you are able to manage the challenges that will survive and what problems you currently have. Repeat this mantra several times during the day, and feel more relaxed and confident that things are better.

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  • 'Bass Ackwards and Belly Up' and 'Footfree and Fancyloose' tell the story of four best friends who commit the ultimate suburban sin: putting off college to pursue their dreams.

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    What is Starfish Envy??

    • L.A. 2009. I’m stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway, listening to Isabella Rosselini on NPR. Isabella, for some reason, mentions that starfish are one of those rare species that can reproduce asexually, and I realize that if I could do that, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t have to internet date! I wouldn't have to figure out if I want to/can/should have a baby/adopt a baby/child on my own. I wouldn't have to stress about things like FSH levels, or weigh my feelings on in vitro versus adoption. I would just have a baby. Thus began my starfish envy.
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