A Lunchtime Head-Shaker

So here's a thing that happened today...

WP and I took a lunch break at a restaurant near our office.  After a very productive lunch, as we waited for the valet to bring my car (it's LA), I was standing in the hot sun for several minutes, and my back started aching.  So I leaned-- gently, mind you-- against the SUV that was parked right behind me.

As in, lightly rested my back against the flat back of the SUV.

Almost instantly, I heard, in the nastiest possible tone: "Uh, excuse me.  Could you stop LAYING ACROSS MY CAR?"

Yeah.

Laying across.  His car.  

I turned to find a young actor I sort of semi-recognized.  Who, for some reason, was just standing outside the restaurant.  Not getting in his car.  Not going anywhere.  Just kind of standing there.  

I was too stunned to react appropriately, but WP fiercely informed him that I am NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, thank you very much.  At which point he DOUBLED DOWN and said, in just as nasty a tone as the first time, that that didn't mean I could LAY ACROSS HIS CAR.

For REAL!

He looked at my belly and DOUBLED DOWN!!!

I mean, this is a young man with a mother somewhere whose soul just curdled with shame.

You're thinking, "This must have been a FANCY SUV!  A Bentley perhaps!  A MASERATI!"  

But no!  It was, in fact, the most basic of all SUVs.  

So then you think, "But it MUST have been coated in GOLD!"  

And again, I say, no!  No gilding.  

Just a regular ol' SUV.  

Oh, how I wish I had taken my giant, swollen belly and climbed up on the hood of his car and shown him what LAYING ACROSS A CAR really looks like.

Instead, I will look forward to the inevitable day when that mean, little semi-recognizable actor appears in my office for an audition. 

And I will say, "Oh, I recognize you.  You wouldn't let me rest my aching back against your car when I was forty weeks pregnant."

Obviously, he won't be getting the part.

He may be the best actor in the world.  

But WP and I have a firm No Assholes Policy.

.

Ha!  Thanks, Actuary, for the grammar heads up.  But meany said "LAYING," so I'm sticking with it!

Comments

[Brenna]

I totally can't wait until that happens. Please, Lord, make it soon! :)

[Julie]

Wow. Unbelievable.

If only you could somehow call him in for an audition very very soon ......

[actuary]

Luv ya Sarah but it's "lying across" the car, not "laying across" the car.

I despise jerks like that whose attitude is "me me me." They are the lowest of the low.

[jsb]

And let's hope it's a part he really, really wants :)

I'd let you lie across or on top of my car, but it's a little far for you to travel (and it wouldn't be warm right now!)...all the best for the imminent arrival of Champ.

[bibi]

HA! and that's really all i have to say. twice. so: ha!

[genie]

Some people really suck!

[Chris Green]

Hey Sarah! Today is a good birthday. :-) My little girl turns 11 today. June 5th. Great day. *hint hint*

LOL

[Debra Weinfeld]

Wow, Just Wow!!!

[Laurie March, @EvangelistaLA]

The Universe has special plans for assholes like that :D It always gets paid back...

And you're so right - somewhere his mom is HORRIFIED.

Rest now, lady! That baby is a coming!

All the best for a speedy, safe delivery and welcome Champ!

xxx.

[Jen Klein]

That is amazing. And I love your policy.

[samatwitch]

When he does appear before you, I hope you post about it so we can all enjoy his downfall! Good luck with Champ's birth. The 17th is a good date. :D

[Heather]

Can't you call his agent and say, "We have a special part we have him in mind for"? I'm all in favor of accelerating karma.

[Christi]

Too bad your water didn't break as you sat there, splayed across his car. Nothing like a little mucus plug to ruin a paint job.

[megs283]

OH man. Karma is gonna hit that guy smack in the face. It sounds like you handled yourself well!!

[megs283]

Oh - and imagine how his fate could have been different if he had appreciated your discomfort and offered to open his door to give you a place to sit? One never knows when you're entertaining angels...or someone who has the ability to change your career.

[jerie b]

since you're not naming name...please check his facebook to see if he yakked about it...if yes.....hand him over.

case in point: Donald Driver threw a cleat up to a kid and a woman damn near knocked him over and SNATCHED the shoe out of the kid's hands...then she put it on her facebook...which of course she had to take down as torches were being located and pitchforks were being purchased...just sayin
p.s. Donald Driver tweeted about it, tried to locate the kid, did and made a huge deal (tv, etc.) loaded him up w/shoes, jerseys, on and on..

justice delayed is not justice denied....an old favorite of mine. what a dick

[Shannon]

Darn it, my second preggo bloggy friend who missed having their baby on my birthday!

I really hope that when that guy does show up for an audition, you really make him suffer before not giving him the part.

[Melinda]

Please tell me his name so I can be sure never to cast him either! :) oy! sending you positive vibes and a great big double-hug, love m.

[Julie]

I agree with all other commenters and have a naive question: what does it mean to "double down"? Up here in Canada, the only double down with which I'm familiar is the unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your perspective) KFC variety.

[Christi]

CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!! CHAMP!!

(Sorry, getting excited for you...)

[jerie b]

just checking in....home stretch now.....or light the lamp...whatevs
wheeeeeee

[Nancy]

Ha! I almost pee'd in my pants reading that! (which is a side effect of having been pregnant, -oh you'll see). Glad Liz was there to react, too funny,.
Shock over peoples attitude can lift you above the actual minutea of the event, and it's great to have a witness that can recall the event. Hopefully in your office someday during an addition! nx

[Nancy]

*audition!

[jerie b]

don't forget: MAKE EVERYONE WHO TOUCHES HER WASH THEIR HANDS FIRST.

don't forget to take soft sox & your own pillow...hairband & body lotion

my neighbor's brand-new grandbaby arrived for a visit today...Owen is a month old...bundle of joy, indeed! his daddy is a doctor so everyone is well-schooled on the hand-washing.

so excited.....back to the waiting room

[a]

This is enraging! and yet, I can't wait for the your description of the day when he does audition for you. . . Meanwhile, I will take the comments of megs283 to heart the next time I am frustrated on a crowded subway.

We are so excited for Champ's arrival and will be checking multiple times a day from now on!