A Lunchtime Head-Shaker

So here's a thing that happened today...

WP and I took a lunch break at a restaurant near our office.  After a very productive lunch, as we waited for the valet to bring my car (it's LA), I was standing in the hot sun for several minutes, and my back started aching.  So I leaned-- gently, mind you-- against the SUV that was parked right behind me.

As in, lightly rested my back against the flat back of the SUV.

Almost instantly, I heard, in the nastiest possible tone: "Uh, excuse me.  Could you stop LAYING ACROSS MY CAR?"

Yeah.

Laying across.  His car.  

I turned to find a young actor I sort of semi-recognized.  Who, for some reason, was just standing outside the restaurant.  Not getting in his car.  Not going anywhere.  Just kind of standing there.  

I was too stunned to react appropriately, but WP fiercely informed him that I am NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, thank you very much.  At which point he DOUBLED DOWN and said, in just as nasty a tone as the first time, that that didn't mean I could LAY ACROSS HIS CAR.

For REAL!

He looked at my belly and DOUBLED DOWN!!!

I mean, this is a young man with a mother somewhere whose soul just curdled with shame.

You're thinking, "This must have been a FANCY SUV!  A Bentley perhaps!  A MASERATI!"  

But no!  It was, in fact, the most basic of all SUVs.  

So then you think, "But it MUST have been coated in GOLD!"  

And again, I say, no!  No gilding.  

Just a regular ol' SUV.  

Oh, how I wish I had taken my giant, swollen belly and climbed up on the hood of his car and shown him what LAYING ACROSS A CAR really looks like.

Instead, I will look forward to the inevitable day when that mean, little semi-recognizable actor appears in my office for an audition. 

And I will say, "Oh, I recognize you.  You wouldn't let me rest my aching back against your car when I was forty weeks pregnant."

Obviously, he won't be getting the part.

He may be the best actor in the world.  

But WP and I have a firm No Assholes Policy.

.

Ha!  Thanks, Actuary, for the grammar heads up.  But meany said "LAYING," so I'm sticking with it!

Comments

[Kristina]

HI Sarah- just checking in, haven't heard from you in a while. Wondering if Champ has arrived?

[jerie b]

AG has pictures??? can't wait to see her in her nursery...bundles of love for your bundle of joy...........gag....that was a little over the top..