Starfish Envy

A Not So Merry Christmas List

It's almost Christmas.  

If you'd asked me a year ago, I would have predicted that I would at least be pregnant by now.

It frankly feels a little cruel that I'm not.

In the last ten months, I've gone through seven IUIs, three doctors, two acupuncturists, ten vials of sperm, one hysterosalpingogram, sixteen ultrasounds, 3600 milligrams of progesterone, three trigger shots, eighteen self-administered follistim shots, countless bottles of vitamins and supplements, and at least a gallon of chinese herbs.

Not to mention thousands of dollars.

And seven very long two-week-waits.

As if that's not enough, this week I'll be doing a saline hystogram to see if I have a polyp, and if I do I'll have to have surgery.

So fun!

Now that I'm officially preparing for my first, and hopefully last, IVF procedure, I've started a whole new regimen... starting with ten thirty-second sessions of femoral massage daily, which isn't as great as it sounds.  Basically you press down on your femoral artery until the blood stops flowing, which gets the blood to stay longer in your abdomen.  Or something.  I don't totally understand it.  But I'm doing it!  I'm also spending an hour a night with a heating pad on my tummy.  And soaking my feet in warm water a few times a week.   (That last one, at least, is a good excuse to get a pedicure.)

I certainly hope by next Christmas I have a baby... and not just an even longer list.

My Twenty-Seventh Weekly Reading List

One of my favorite local blogs is called Chicken Corner.  The blog is named after (what else?) a corner in my neighborhood where there was once a mural of a chicken, and true to the name of the blog, the Chicken Corner lady and her family have been raising (double what else?) chickens!   

Next on the reading list... I love it when people can admit their mistakes.  And I love it even more when the admission is graciously received.  So, here's this piece from Jezebel.

I don't read many blogs about writing... okay, any... but I came across this post on beginning a novel and man, did it speak to me.

Half the Sky is easily the most powerful nonfiction book I've ever read, and I'm always looking for opportunities to sing its praises.  This post gives me such an opportunity.

Finally, from The Happiness Project, I want to do each and every one of these exercises. 

In other news... have you voted yet?

My Twenty-Sixth Weekly Reading List

Back to the reading list!  It's been awhile, but there's a wealth of great stuff right now, so I can't avoid it any longer!

Let's start with this piece from Shannon at Chasing Rainbows. Whether or not to get a doppler seems to be a big question among pregnant women-- and this one post highlights both the downside and the upside.

And then there's this, from Jenna at Cold Antler Farm, on how being a "Jack of all trades, master of none" may not be a bad thing at all.

And I love this post on Yogini Cowgirl.  Sometimes you just don't know when your heels are down.

Finally, Women & Hollywood linked to this wonderful video from Hilary Clinton.  Like so many people, I've been saddened by the recent rash of suicides of gay teens.  The "It Gets Better" campaign from The Trevor Project has produced some great videos-- including this one, with Michael Chiklis from The Shield, Julie Benz from Angel, and Ian, Candice, and Kat from The Vampire Diaries.  And this one from Tim Gunn totally made me cry.

But my favorite, I have to say, is Clinton's video.  I just love her. 

My Twenty-Fifth Weekly Reading List

I've been bad about getting a reading list together the last few weeks, but tonight I'm going to rectify that.  With a reading list!

Starting with...

OMG.  I LOVE THIS.  I can't even begin to imagine how OK Go choreographed this whole thing.   Amazing.  Thanks, Jeri, for the link!

I love smittenkitchen's other tomato sauce, but this makes me want to try a tomato sauce from scratch.  

And here's one of the things I love about my neighborhood.  Not that I'm ever home from work in time to actually attend... but it SOUNDS great, doesn't it?  

Some good points in this piece from Arianna Huffington.  

I will admit, I had a hard time getting past the cheating-on-two-women thing, but Lone Star clearly had the makings of a great show... and now, just like that, it's gone.  It's a rough business, folks.  

Every now and then Gretchen Rubin writes something that changes my life.  This is one of those somethings.

My Twenty-Fourth Weekly Reading List

This insight from Seth Godin somehow reminds me of Anne Lamott's notion of bird-by-bird.   

Loved this piece on the things we TV writers do for payback.  The description of writers as people who "contribute dialogue" is bizarre and incorrect-- what tv writers actually do is CONCEIVE STORIES, large and small, AND WRITE SCRIPTS, and of course there's all the producing to do, as well-- but the article is still interesting.  

You'll understand why this made me cry.  

Okay, this isn't strictly my neighborhood, but it's LA, so at least it's local.  OMG this food looks good.  

And then there's this piece on women's fiction versus literature.  Which makes me LOVE Jennifer Weiner and Jodi Picoult even more.

I appreciated this interview with Steve Levitan, co-creator of "Modern Family," (and recent Emmy winner) on why watching your favorite TV shows on Hulu, etc., isn't necessarily the greatest idea.   

Of course, any article on why Friday Night Lights deserves an Emmy is an instant favorite of mine.  Particularly since WP and I were on a panel last week with FNL's showrunner, Jason Katims, and in addition to being insanely talented, he seemed like a genuinely good guy.  

And still more evidence that stress causes women to have problems getting pregnant.  Well, isn't that just peachy.  Excuse me while I go scream into a pillow.  

My Twenty-Third Weekly Reading List

Three nights with no internet service.  

Grrrrrr.  

Made all the more frustrating because I'm quite fond of this week's reading list.  

So.  With no further ado, let's start with this piece, from Shannon's Rainbow on the value of different kinds of support systems.  Couldn't have said it better myself.  

Then, from Whedonesque, Joss interviews Jed (that's Whedon and Whedon) about Jed's new album. I am perhaps biased because I know and like Jed, but the album is beautiful.  (Just listened again.  I'm not biased.  It's pretty great.)

And then there's this, which is significantly less beautiful.  And, yes, this is the park where I work out with my trainer.  Perhaps we should find a new workout spot?  

Interesting article on Jezebel about a woman who was pregnant with twins and got a selective reduction.  I'm frankly very torn about how I feel about this particular situation.   

Also from Jezebel, this piece on how much women love their dogs.  Now, I love my dogs, but I don't tell them any secrets.  (Because I don't know if you know this, but dogs don't actually speak English.) 

 

And, last but not least, this piece from Melissa Silverstein on the new TV  show, Huge. WP convinced me to watch it, and I'm so glad she did.  

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In other news, I have been PERFECTLY HEALTHY in every way for three days now. Unless you count a bowl of multigrain Cheerios for an afternoon snack as unhealthy.  Which I don't.  So, yay.  If only it were easy.

My Twenty-Second Weekly Reading List

Let's start the list with this adorable blog, courtesy of Chris Green, who found it through Felicia Day. 

I actually don't think Sarah Palin is rolling her eyes in this video... but it does clearly show what a moron she is, so I'm sharing it anyway.  

Here's an interesting take on the notion of hard work from Jenna at Cold Antler Farm. 

Want to know what IVF is all about?  Here's a post from Adventures in Fertility and Mortality that kinda says it all.  Don't get me wrong, IUIs are no picnic-- what with the logistics and the general stress-- but damn!  IVF is intense!   

I am admittedly on the emotional end of the spectrum these days (thank you, progesterone pills), but this post from Inventing My Life made me cry.  That Liz is a seriously great mom.  And the teacher sounds pretty good, too.

I was also moved by this post from a single, adoptive mom who sheds light on comfort nursing.  (Hat tip: Inventing My Life)

Finally, one of my favorite things about Melissa Silverstein is that she uses CURSE WORDS!  To make a point!  And it's always a really good point!  Well, dammit, this piece is no exception. 

My Twenty-First Weekly Reading List

After my delivery driver debacle, a friend forwarded this piece from tinybuddha on how to deal when your world gets all shook up.  The woman who wrote it lived through a pretty enormous earthquake.  In comparison, my traumatic experience barely even tipped the scale... but this article still helped.  If anyone out there is going through a shake-up, I hope it'll help you, too.   

Loved this bit of wisdom from Zen Habits: "The more energy you spend, the more you have."  Yowza, is that true.  And there's more where that came from.  Just follow the link.  

Crazy narcissists should not be allowed to date.  

Since we've been talking about women in Hollywood a bit lately, I thought I'd include this piece from Time Magazine: Are Women Getting Short Shrift in Late Night?  Uh, yeah. 

I just can't resist posts about pets.  Especially about the things we can learn from them.  Cheesy, I know.  I can't help it.   

Finally, for all you Lie To Me fans, thought you might enjoy this short film Tim Roth did for Funny Or Die.  It is, indeed, pretty funny.  

My Twentieth Weekly Reading List

What?  How is it possible I've been doing this list for twenty weeks?  

Guess time flies when you're not getting pregnant.  (I know, I know.  Whiny.  But you gotta give me one little whine, right?)

Fortunately, there's a lot of great work in the blogosphere to distract me.  

For example:  of all the How To ideas in the world, this one on how to get your kids to let you kiss them just might be my favorite.  

I stumbled on this article about things not to say to a writer, and I just had to include it.  I have only ever agreed to read a manuscript written by someone I didn't know one time, and it didn't go well.  The short version is: he died.  It was awful.  The message? Ask me to read your manuscript at your own peril.  

Then there's this great series of posts from some of my favorite mommy and wannabemommy bloggers:  

Here's one on a four year journey to motherhood.  And the journey's not over.    

And I loved this post on guilt... or the lack of it.  I can only hope to be half as guilt-free as this mom.   

And then this beautiful post from jellybeanmama on vigilance.  

Finally, for this week's this-is-my-hood post, here's a video on how my neighborhood is gentrifying.  (The video isn't exactly right about the swap meet, by the way.  There are no restrictions on the vendors, and the meet is actually growing.)

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So that's it for this week, list-wise.  Back tomorrow.  No whining, I swear.  

My Nineteenth Weekly Reading List

Let's start this week's list with the Top 100 Girls' Names of 2010, from nameberry.  Interesting that Seraphina (which happens to have been my nickname in high school) is ranked so high, isn't it?  As an aside, here's a hint for the future: my top choice girl's name is not on this list.  (It's probably not on any list.  It's a family name.  Kind of a weird one.  But pretty!)  And though I haven't seen the boy's list yet, I feel pretty confident my top choice boy's name isn't on that list, either.  (Also a family name.  What're you gonna do?)

And then there was this list, which took me right back to being twelve-years-old.  I just LOVED young adult novels back then.  (Don't tell anyone, but I still do.) 

LOVED this post when I read it.  It pretty much nails exactly how I feel about my ovaries.      

It's a short list today, but the sheer gutsiness of this post gives the whole thing weight. If you know a guy who might be cool/awesome enough for Jenna over at Cold Antler Farm, shoot the girl an email, for Pete's sake!