Starfish Envy

A Strum Down Memory Lane

Tonight, for the first time in about five years, I broke out my guitar.

It was dusty and out of tune and the strings are shot, but it took me back to being twenty-two and teaching high school to kids who were almost as old as me.

Suddenly, strumming away, I was back to sitting on a hardwood floor in a rural North Carolina bungalow with my Teach For America friends, playing and singing From A Distance, as if I could ever for a moment sound a thousandth as good as Bette Midler...

...and then to my late-twenties, when WP and I first moved to LA and spent many a long, late (drunken) night strumming and singing and tossing back vodka martinis...

... and into in my early thirties, when all my friends weren't working at the same time, and we'd have game nights in the middle of the week and I'd pick my way through Simon and Garfunkle's "Kathy's Song" on the deck of my friends' house in Silverlake...  

... and then, for whatever reason, the guitar got put away.

I just stopped playing.

It's not like I was ever much of a guitarist.  I sing better than I play, and I don't sing all that well.  

But tonight I remembered that I love playing the guitar.

By the end of the third chorus of Gallileo my callous-less fingertips were stinging.  But I kept going through Landslide and Saturday They'll All Be Back (my favorite David Wilcox song).

It felt like a fitting way to say goodbye to my thirties.  

I hope my forties find me playing the guitar a heck of a lot more than I have this last decade.

Hmmm....

Maybe what I should get myself for my birthday is a new ax.

Hilarity At Whole Foods

I'm sick. 

I've been trying to ignore it all week, but it just keeps getting worse.  

Throat kills.  Tired.  Snot.  

So much snot.

And yet I saw something today that made me laugh like a mad woman.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should admit that I am a Whole Foods shopper. (Although, on the Eastside, we have normal sized shopping carts.)

 

Good Morning, Ringo!

After my I-Am-Ringo-Starr post yesterday, guess what I found on my desk this morning?

 

Just one more reason I love my assistant.

Things To Do Before I Die (A Long, Long Time From Now)

Several years ago, I made a list of 111 Things To Do Before I Die. 

Then I shoved it into a box and promptly forgot about it.  But y'know how, sometimes, you find things you haven't seen in years, and you're like, OH MY GOD, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN!?!!  

Well, my list has been in a white, metal box in my kitchen, and yesterday I unearthed it, only to discover that HOT DAMN! I've ACCOMPLISHED some stuff!

Here's what I've done:

6. Create a television show and run it.

7. Run a television show. (Apparently, I really wanted to cover my bases on that one.)

14. Own a house.

17. Exercise four times per week for one year.

18. Eat no fast food for one year.

22. Sing in a performance for friends.  (I've done a couple weddings.  I figure that counts.)

30. Quit smoking. (Did that one a few times.  Last one finally stuck.)

31. Write a song and sing it for people.  (I wrote one song.  I sang it for my mom.  Which was harder than singing for "people.")

36. Stay at the Bellagio. (I put 35 other things before this one.  My values are in excellent order, thank you.)

43. Make and donate knitted blankets. 

49. Write Jim Shepard a thank you note.  (My college writing professor.  Great writer. Great teacher.  And I sent him an email, which is not exactly a note, but I'm giving myself this one.)

55. Go to therapy.  (Did this one A LOT.)

57. Read War & Peace.

63. Buy a DVD player.  (Seriously.  It's on the list.)

64. Get a desktop computer. 

65. Get a cell phone.  (When did I make this list?  1983?)

66. Get a nice filofax.  (Okay, this is starting to be humiliating.)

67. Buy my mom a Foremost Dairies collectible.  (Her dad worked there.  It's a thing.)

68. Go to Sky Bar. (Emmy party.  Saw Colin Firth.  Sigh.  Where is my Mark Darcy?)

73. Hire a business manager.  

74. Pay off my credit cards.

75. Get a credit card.  (I'm confused by this one.  If I wanted to pay off my credit cards, why did I need a credit card???)

80. Have a music room in my house. (When I moved into my house, I made this little nook into a music room.  Didn't last long, but I think it's enough.)

82. Read a book in Swedish. 

86. Have a personal assistant.  (For context, I was a personal assistant when I wrote this list.)

91. Plant and take care of some flowers.

92. Buy a sewing machine.  (If only I'd added "Learn to use sewing machine.")

101. Get rid of A LOT of my stuff.  (Not that I couldn't get rid of more...)

104. Ask a man out on a date.

108. Volunteer for a politician I believe in. 

109. Write a novel.

110. Get novel published.  

Pretty good, right?  Then there are some things that just don't make sense anymore, like "Hire K as an actress on a t.v. show."  

My friend K was a struggling actress when I made this list (which also includes "Treat B and N to a great vacation," only now B is married to the aforementioned K, and N is married to S, so I'm gonna say this one's out of the question...), and now K's a successful television writer.    

Still to do?

Well, there's number 12 (get married) and number 13 (have at least one child), which it looks like I will be doing out of order, at best.  And there's 28 (fall in love).  And 45 (learn to dye yarn).  And 58 (read Anna Karenina-- it's on my Kindle).  There are lots of places to travel, and lots of good works to accomplish, from small (83: Serve Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless.) to large (38: Give $10,000 to Teach for America. It's in my will.  They may have to wait 'til I die...)

And today it looks like I'll be adding another item to the list:

112: Remodel house.  

Because I think I'm staying put.  Every piece of advice in every comment was terrific, but I loved the coin flipping notion.  Only, when I read it, I realized that I didn't need to flip a coin.  Because from the moment I realized I wanted to remodel and stay... I've pretty much just been excited.

Which is a feeling I'm going to work hard to hang onto... because everyone knows that remodeling is hell.

.

What's on your list?  What have you crossed off that you're most proud of?

Music and Mixed Nuts

About a year ago, I made an iTunes playlist of music I'd like to sing to my theoretical future child (let's call him or her "TFC").  I'm not much of a singer (although WP, who's tone deaf, thinks I'm great), but I do love to sing.  And I'm a believer in manifesting-- both as a spiritual event and a practical tool.  So I created a list of my favorite songs from childhood (Free to Be You and Me, anyone?), and my favorite child-related songs from adulthood.  Some of them are about being kids, some are about the wishes and hopes and dreams I have for TFC, some are just about the kind of world I'd like TFC to live in.

Now, who knows how long it will be until TFC gets here.  (If my crap-ass ovulation chart is any indication, it's gonna be awhile.) 

But my writing partner, WP, is fast closing in on her due date.  Her baby, the lovingly nicknamed (by me) Mixed Nuts, will be arriving in just a couple months.  And then WP will a mom.  And Mixed Nuts will be one very lucky baby.   Which makes me all mushy and teary and totally girly.  

So, in honor of Mixed Nuts, here's the list:  

Godspeed (Sweet Dreams), Dixie Chicks                          

If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out, Cat Stevens

In from the Outside, Chris Trapper        

William's Doll, Alan Alda & Marlo Thomas, Free To Be...You And Me                 

Precious, Annie Lennox                          

Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel), Billy Joel        

You Are My Sunshine, Carly Simon                          

Child of Mine, Carole King

The Long Road, Cliff Eberhardt (Duet With Richie Havens)        

Free To Be... You And Me, The New Seekers, Free To Be...You And Me                 

Great Big World, Pierce Pettis                          

When We Grow Up, Diana Ross, Free To Be...You And Me                                   

Lullaby, Dixie Chicks

Child Of Mine, Emmylou Harris        

Lullaby (Group), Four Bitchin' Babes        

Joy, George Winston

Parents Are People, Harry Belafonte & Marlo Thomas, Free To Be...You & Me

Mockingbird, Carly Simon        

Believe It or Not, James Taylor        

Why Walk When You Can Fly, Mary Chapin Carpenter

Tranquillo (Melt My Heart), Carly Simon                          

Great Big World, David Wilcox                                   

Boy Meets Girl, Mel Brooks & Marlo Thomas

Secret o' Life, James Taylor

I'll Take Care of You, Dixie Chicks

You're Gonna Need This Memory, Pierce Pettis                                   

Alligators All Around, Carole King        

I Don't Know Why, Shawn Colvin        

Feet of a Dancer, Maura O'Connell                 

I'll Stand By You, The Pretenders        

Heavenly Day, Patty Griffin 

My favorite is the Maura O'Connell song, "Feet of a Dancer."  The refrain goes like this: "I hope you find the feet of a dancer, I hope you can sing in the rain, I hope you find all the easy answers to your pain.  And I hope you find love and affection, from someone who'll care, I hope you find all the right direction everywhere... everywhere."

I'm just remembering that I sang those words to my grandfather as he died.  I hope he found the feet of a dancer.  I hope I do, too.  I hope my future child does.

And you, too, Mixed Nuts.  Dance.

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What songs make you think of childhood?  What songs would you add for the TFC or the Mixed Nuts in your life?