Starfish Envy

Are You Threatening Me?

I'm working on Part Three, but in the meantime...

I had to share an email that I just received from my dad.  I've been emailing pictures of Violet to him and my step-mom regularly.

The email reads:

"These are great pictures.  We've really enjoyed them.  We've also decided that it's not too much to expect a picture every day.  We know you'll do your best, but just so you know, failure to do so could be considered grandparent abuse and could result in unanticipated visits with potential for over stimulation."

I love my dad.

The Kind Of Mother I Would Like To Be

I would like to be the kind of mother who sees and supports the best in my daughter.

The kind of mother she can laugh with.

Who encourages her.

Who honestly knows her strengths and weaknesses, but doesn't dwell on either.

I would like to be the kind of mother my daughter wants to spend time with.

The kind of mother she wants to share with when something amazing happens.

And the kind she wants to call for comfort when the other shoe drops.

I would like to be the kind of mother who exposes my daughter to a wealth of experiences; a multitude of people, places, and things.

Who teaches her tolerance and kindness and generosity and openness and compassion.  

I would like to be the kind of mother who doesn't judge-- my daughter or others in front of my daughter.

I would like to be a positive force in my daughter's life.  A refuge.

I would like to be the kind of mother who teaches my daughter that there is nothing she cannot do.

That happiness is important.

That she is valuable.

That she is special and unique, and that she deserves love and kindness.

And that, except on rare occasions, fear is just something to get through-- not something to stop her.

I would like to be the kind of mother who accepts my daughter, exactly as she is.

I would like to be the kind of mother who puts my daughter first.

Who considers her feelings.

Who listens to her.

Who hears her.

Who treats her with respect and love, even when I don't understand or like her choices.

In short, I would like to be the perfect mother that I know my daughter -- and every daughter -- deserves.

Most of us don't get that perfect mother... and I'm sure, in many ways, I will fail.

But this, at least, is a good place to start.